Re: Better Days by pain killer	god'swife 209.178.142.212	2-Jun-04/12:52 PM
A couple of lines detract, the last and 64-65. Lots of interesting similes, and adj. good.
regarding some deleted poem...	edpeterson 68.20.9.182	2-Jun-04/12:52 PM
i think it is brilliant
regarding some deleted poem...	fair12 66.84.225.2	2-Jun-04/12:25 PM
the mind is in the gutter and the title is just killing me.... overall - felt like the beginning of a story - wanted to read on but, alas, there was no more..
Re: Jimmy and Chichi Choo (Sub-Dylan Bullshit Blues) by the codeine kid	titan69 62.31.23.28	2-Jun-04/12:26 PM
got to give you a 10 for this. Your stuf just gets better
Re: Dear Lord, by INTRANSIT	fair12 66.84.225.2	2-Jun-04/12:27 PM
I liked the just on the edge of dark, old romantic feel of this.
regarding some deleted poem...	titan69 62.31.23.28	2-Jun-04/12:37 PM
oh I said i would call but i dont think it was you was it?
Re: Better Days by pain killer	pain killer 217.159.74.253	2-Jun-04/12:41 PM
Ummm...this is, er, autobiographical i suppose...shit happens and, err, shit happened and is still happening unfortunately...
Re: STEP 4 by the codeine kid	edpeterson 68.20.9.182	2-Jun-04/12:43 PM
would be much better without that last line...eek that is horrible.
Re: The Angel and The Ass by pain killer	pain killer 217.159.74.253	2-Jun-04/12:50 PM
I got the idea of the title from the Nick Cave novel...I decided to write a bitter sweet tale of unrequited love disguised as a childrens poem...i dunno if it works or not...you tell me
regarding some deleted poem...	god'swife 209.178.142.212	2-Jun-04/12:56 PM
You should use the assonance between volatile and pride. Try 'drunk on tequila and pride' instead. The first line is wonderful, except for 'clear'. It should just be bacon. The end is silly, is it meant to be?
regarding some deleted poem...	god'swife 209.178.142.212	2-Jun-04/1:02 PM
Boring
Re: Amateur night - God, a one man show by fair12	god'swife 209.178.142.212	2-Jun-04/1:08 PM
The last line's a mammoth disappointment. Some very good lines and structure. In S2, I can't tell if you or the stones are whipping through a bleak blue sky, needs clearing up.
Re: Piccadilly to Baker Street by Caducus	god'swife 209.178.142.212	2-Jun-04/1:12 PM
ugh.
Re: Tomorrow's Dance by RevHydra	god'swife 209.178.142.212	2-Jun-04/1:13 PM
What the fu...?
regarding some deleted poem...	god'swife 209.178.142.212	2-Jun-04/1:17 PM
Hip Hop meets Peace-nik meets Mother Goose meets Fundamentalism meets every 20something 'street-poet' doing her thang.
Re: A Mod Proposal (of Modest Proportions) by coolassbob	horus8 24.130.62.63	2-Jun-04/1:22 PM
Shrapnel
Re: I'm Back! by wEdible Underpantsw	horus8 24.130.62.63	2-Jun-04/1:23 PM
Swit
Re: The Red Basket by pain killer	horus8 24.130.62.63	2-Jun-04/1:25 PM
"angry chickens"? Need I say more? 6
Re: The Angel and The Ass by pain killer	horus8 24.130.62.63	2-Jun-04/1:28 PM
And how is this a prose poem? This is a soggy cracker jack in denial mang.
Re: B-Side by Miggy	horus8 24.130.62.63	2-Jun-04/1:33 PM
Don't forget to thank John k for single handedly making the drummer from Def leopard join the band blind puma, and chopping off his other arm, in order to play the drums by merely face thrusting into a an industrial can, a mouthful of peanuts, sucking off all of the salt, and shooting them at the snare like a fixed rain bird sprinkler, fucking asshats.