Re: Chrystal lane swift want's me, bad. by horus8	edpeterson 68.79.58.40	19-Mar-05/1:34 PM
funny that this is your highest ranked poem.
Re: a comment on Zin/Enough/Things/Squeeze/Flow by gregsamsa222	edpeterson 68.79.58.40	19-Mar-05/1:20 PM
Novelty is overrated. Here, a story is being told and being told well. How original is it to die? Doesn't make the death of someone you love any less painful or important or novel. The writing is direct and concrete. It is written with both skill and emotional restraint, to the degree which is possible anyway. I can hear an argument that this is not poetry, and, as I am not really a poet, I would not argue. I would argue if one were to posit that this is not exemplary writing. It is.
Re: Black Clouds by Haleyj	juliharrelson 172.159.148.85	19-Mar-05/1:08 PM
"Basking beneath All of the darkened stars" Comment: I like that! It has opposites in it. Good word use, I think. "I’ll build myself up Don’t rely on anyone Because people can change And secrets can be undone" Comment: I like the sound and truth in that rhyming. I think this is a good introspective poem - juli :)
Re: Zen by necroscope7	Haleyj 24.179.95.25	19-Mar-05/9:15 AM
I really like this poem. Short, simple, and to the point. Just how I like them.
Re: Zin/Enough/Things/Squeeze/Flow by gregsamsa222	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.24.132	19-Mar-05/8:18 AM
As I'm sure you've been told, this is god aweful long. Each of these poems are great. I love the images and the way that you have painted with the canvas of my heart. If these poems wouldn't all have had worked together, exactly the way they do, my vote would have been a 5(one for each poem here), just for being so long. But as is, 10. Excellent writing. <3 Jason
Re: a comment on Sauvignon by Dovina	Dovina 12.72.10.10	19-Mar-05/6:50 AM
I know someone whom I believe could make the mistake and who claims to be knowledgeable about wines. Of course that’s not the point, nor is it a metaphor for guys who are dogs. It’s a fantasy of getting even for a deception. The relationship between having a glass of wine with a man and having sex is an add-on, not the main purpose of the poem. Still, the metaphor works in real life, I think, though it’s admittedly not well developed in the poem.
Re: The Ususal Love Stuff by Dreammaker1024	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.225.157.160	19-Mar-05/6:19 AM
This is prose, and while wordy, you touch on good points of introspection. -7- <3 Jason
Re: Pacifics by zodiac	James Rykelangeli 169.229.90.109	19-Mar-05/12:56 AM
psychologically very bland: we can discern nothing because we know nothing about the speaker's relation to the admired. as it is, the poem comes across as a melodrama: speaker in a tepid relationship, has newfound passion finds hard to express, takes lover to beach to soften up him or her, ocean symbolizes something like the freedom of expression the speaker desires, and this freedom entails a degree of amnesia to forget any troubles from the relationship's past that might hinder the present communication of passion. i realize this is a gross deconstruction of sentiments that are often very tender and profound, but the blandness of your poem warrants such a criticism. consider rewriting the following trite imagery: "the waves come in across the bay and break, and break, and break." "sun baking" "waves breaking" "Now it's all I have left to give" "we'll make it here when we get out of here." i found "mizzling rain" awkward. it is, after all, akin to "drizzling rain," when just "drizzle" would suffice. here, however, "mizzle" is too unwieldily to have alone. so, i'd rewrite that as you see fit. the poem does have two instances of superb word choice: "lullabye crush" and "amnesiac sea." new imagery and psychological depth would make this a strong poem.
Re: Camping, Volume 3 by jessicazee	zodiac 212.118.19.192	18-Mar-05/10:05 PM
This is really very good.
Re: Zin/Enough/Things/Squeeze/Flow by gregsamsa222	zodiac 212.118.19.192	18-Mar-05/10:04 PM
With the possible exception of the shoestring, nothing - no image, line, phrasing, structure, or anything else really - is very original here. You'd be great for writing a dictionary of poetic tropes.
Re: a comment on Drinking before noon with Bukowski by Beyond_Dreams	zodiac 212.118.19.192	18-Mar-05/9:52 PM
I propose that's the typical American man because American women make it so easy to for us to be that way and still get laid.
Re: a comment on Sauvignon by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.192	18-Mar-05/9:50 PM
Sorry. I'll rephrase: Do you personally know someone who would both a) claim to be knowledgeable about wines, and b) mistake a $2 bottle of wine for some aged French Sauvignon? Of course, that's not the point. The point is it's a metaphor for guys who are dogs, didn't I see the whole inserting his member bit, wasn't that clever? No, it wasn't particularly. And no, for a metaphor to work it's GOT TO WORK IN REAL LIFE (ie, wine) before working in metaphorland (ie, sex). Otherwise I could just write a poem about how my rugged good looks are a metaphor for my winning personality. Anyway, answer the question for a dinar. I know you think it's some clever word-trap, so I'll go first: No, I don't know anybody who would do both of those things.
Re: a comment on "America The Beautiful" by jroday	zodiac 212.118.19.192	18-Mar-05/9:44 PM
Was it "Newsies"?
Re: Apostrophetic Loss by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.192	18-Mar-05/9:41 PM
And can we get back to the poem for a minute? 1) There's no connection between inappropriate apostrophe use and "renegade poet comedians" on poemranker except that two (maybe three) of them sometimes write "you're" as "your". They don't do that because they've got a problem with apostrophes; they do it because they're making fun of everybody on the site who confuses them all the time. In any event, that wouldn't be an apostrophe problem; it would be an apostrophe-AND-misspelling problem. 2) Again, colloquialisms and apostrophes are not necessarily related. Wherever colloquialisms ARE written, they're written with apostrophes. In fact, most colloquialisms are written with more apostrophes than standard English, as exemplified by the colloquialisms at this helpful site, Black Country Sayings: http://www.sedgleymanor.com... 3) "Renegade poet comedians"??? It seems like just a little while ago you were calling them stuffy bastions of conservative poetry. Anyway, are you aware of what a TOTAL REVERSAL that is? And I bet if I comment on someone's punctuation today, you'll be back on how I'm keeping poetic experimenters down with my strict adherence to Victorian standards. Without realizing you've spun so fast, you've left your britches still traveling in the opposite direction. 4) "dim" was the word about six months ago. Since then I've gone through periods of using "bum", "Retard Islam", and god knows what else. So, way to keep up! Glad to hear "dim" hurt the most, though! 5) There is no incrowd. No one says anyone's uncool on this site. Except me - I say you're uncool. 6) Bow'ls is an appropriate (though archaic) usage. Otherwise you'd have to pronounce it with two syllables. Anyway, no one here invented it. 7) By the way, bow'ls is SO two years ago. 8) As far as I can recall, no "renegade poet comedian" on this site has ever used dropped g's (ie, "makin") for a gag. You, however did affect an accent for an entire comment once (here: http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=119983), so are you insane? 9) I'd say the "it" part is about me since I overuse it in my comments here, but you'll just say I'm totally unsupported it's about someone else, so whatever. I do have a problem overusing it on this site. If that's what you're talking about, good one. 10) In short, this poem is totally crap, not a poem, and grounded in some lunatic assumption that everyone on this site except blacksoul, al-nafiysh, and Dan g-B is unreasonably out to get you. I'm serious, that's what lunatics think. If you're going to respond, "what a bunch of drivel i couldn't be bothered to read it or whatever", please don't. For one, it just makes you look like you're intimidated by reading more than a dozen words at a time. And for another thing, I went to the trouble of putting it in handy bullet-point format to avoid exactly that problem. Hey, thanks for paying attention!
Re: a comment on Apostrophetic Loss by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.192	18-Mar-05/9:13 PM
Can I suggest something? The basis for your saying I don't make any sense is pretty much 'I, Dovina, say so.' The basis for your saying you're not sexist, racist, or anythingelse-ist is definitely 'I, Dovina, say so.' Doesn't that seem like a pretty weak thing to base your whole conception of things on?
Re: a comment on A Plea To The Mother(Mother Earth) by Rainbow_chaser	zodiac 212.118.19.192	18-Mar-05/9:09 PM
Tripe, Dovina. Utter, utter tripe.
Re: college by i_am_the_popsicle	Tintagiles 198.164.251.10	18-Mar-05/6:59 PM
I also like the students who whine about needing to walk all the way from a hall at the bottom of the hill to one at the top and doubtless wonder every morning on the bathroom scale why they weigh 200 pounds more than I do even though they're a foot shorter. As a poeme, it's utterly terrible, of course, but I do like the sentiment.
Re: Mr Zero? Your a coward. by DreamerSupreme	Tintagiles 198.164.251.10	18-Mar-05/6:58 PM
Moan moan moan.
Re: Ga-go, Part two of that same play, the suspensefull climax. by Jeremi B. Handrinos	Tintagiles 198.164.251.10	18-Mar-05/6:56 PM
A little cheesy, but not showing Ferdinand's reaction at the end is a good touch.
Re: the lips of your mouth by silvertongueddevil	Tintagiles 198.164.251.10	18-Mar-05/6:51 PM
Why the 'eyes of fishes', which are rather boring, as opposed to their scales, which can be quite rainbow-like? And if you're adoring someone, isn't requesting them to lift their lips a bit ungallant -- even if they're shorter, they're supposed to be on a pedestal...