Re: Bleed ,Rip and Tear by NoSage	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.153.196.50	15-Feb-05/2:06 AM
In Gethsemane, Jesu asked of the Lord (Matthew 26: 39) "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Clearly Jesu thought, on the off chance, that the Lord (who was also Jesu) may have known of a different, less grotesque method of cleansing us of our sins, and was only sending Jesu to His death more or less on a whim. Alas this was not so, but does it not portray the Bearded Carpenter during a momentary lapse into lukewarmedness? Good Christ I hope not.
Re: a study in blossoms and beauty by oneglove	sliver 172.194.193.133	14-Feb-05/11:15 PM
You seemed to be chasing your tail for a bit, But really quite well written. Me likey
Re: Bridesmaids in the Rain by wilco	Plaidypus 68.14.27.48	14-Feb-05/9:02 PM
"Dancing with the (INSERT CLICHE) Cliche, cliche, cliche What rhymes with RAIN? Cliche, cliche, Candy Cane Cliche, cliche, vomit stain dancing with the....ooops, I'm passing out from boredom....
Re: Piercings by PsydewaysTears	PsydewaysTears 69.240.74.35	14-Feb-05/9:00 PM
The rhymes are simple but they don't stray from the topic or twist the syntax. Each set of two-lines connect. Nowhere does a rhyme create a sore-thumb of a section or an unbefitting line-ending. Obviousness doesn't make a rhyme forced.
Re: a comment on Love Poem in HTML by Plaidypus	Plaidypus 68.14.27.48	14-Feb-05/8:59 PM
How is one supposed to make any real progress if they never put themselves out there and try to experiment, once in a while? This is not necessarily a finished piece....furthermore, if you actually knew anything about HTML then you would find it amusing. I actually wrote this for a friend of mine who is an English major, and knows how to write code, and he loved it. The code puts is intended to put it into a sort of geeky, cyberspace context. I'm not saying its a work of genius, but I am DEFINITELY trying to do something original. I will NOT just "write the poem," thank you very much. All poetry sounds too similar...and I am trying something new.
Re: Children in the Storm by thepinkbunnyofdoom	wilco 24.165.207.93	14-Feb-05/7:55 PM
some spelling and punctuation errors, but overall, pretty good. Worth an edit.
Re: The Man I Love by Dovina	wilco 24.165.207.93	14-Feb-05/7:53 PM
That's good, because most likely, that's exactly who he's going to be. ;0)
Re: Piercings by PsydewaysTears	wilco 24.165.207.93	14-Feb-05/7:51 PM
Too much obviously forced rhyme.
Re: a study in blossoms and beauty by oneglove	wilco 24.165.207.93	14-Feb-05/7:44 PM
Way overwritten. You could say this in half the words and make it much better. It is overly..um...mushy, but theres some to salvage here. Just cut it in half.
Re: Pillow Talk by horus8	wilco 24.165.207.93	14-Feb-05/7:41 PM
Yours are always interesting. I'll give you that.
Re: Love Poem in HTML by Plaidypus	wilco 24.165.207.93	14-Feb-05/7:40 PM
I'm sorry, but this is just irritating to try to read. I can appreciate you're trying to be original here, but this sort of thing just makes it bad. Just stick to the basics and write the poem.
Re: Lent Begins by jessicazee	wilco 24.165.207.93	14-Feb-05/7:38 PM
"Her cough sounds like mornings": great. Good observations here. I actually enjoyed it.
Re: Never... by jessicazee	wilco 24.165.207.93	14-Feb-05/7:35 PM
Nice little list of things to never do. I wrote a similar one a while back called "32 Truths and 1 Lie". Some good advice here, but what if you HAVE to stay in one place longer than one hour? Sorry, just giving a hard time. Not too bad.
Re: a study in blossoms and beauty by oneglove	oneglove 205.133.194.49	14-Feb-05/6:07 PM
i know you all tire of reading overly mushy poems but its valentines day so i thought if there was any day for this poem it was today.
Re: a comment on Lent Begins by jessicazee	jessicazee 205.188.117.5	14-Feb-05/5:24 PM
Here's what I hope is the final edit. Thanks for your kind words. And now, I open a beer, another Monday evening.
Re: a study in blossoms and beauty by oneglove	Dovina 12.72.10.24	14-Feb-05/3:46 PM
I'm glad I'm not your woman. I'd hate to be gushed over like this.
Re: Piercings by PsydewaysTears	Dovina 12.72.10.24	14-Feb-05/3:34 PM
Forced rhymes: sneese-please, three-be
Re: Children in the Storm by thepinkbunnyofdoom	Dovina 12.72.10.24	14-Feb-05/3:31 PM
Second to last verse is very nice. window sill Stop scaring me wherever
Re: Poem Written on a Ketchup Stained Paper Plate by woodstock20000	Dovina 12.72.10.24	14-Feb-05/3:23 PM
Get a title and go with it - not bad.
Re: Insanity by Lifeboatman	Dovina 12.72.10.24	14-Feb-05/3:21 PM
Funny!