Re: Paris 1941-63 by Mister Cakes	MacFrantic 205.188.116.67	7-Feb-05/7:29 PM
it seems that you put about 2 seconds of thought into your poems. And that is not a compliment. *6*
Re: WAIT UNTIL THE END by celticskatermatt1	some deleted user 68.7.189.144	7-Feb-05/6:22 PM
this is pretty good
Re: WAIT UNTIL THE END by celticskatermatt1	some deleted user 68.7.189.144	7-Feb-05/6:22 PM
this is pretty good
Re: WAIT UNTIL THE END by celticskatermatt1	some deleted user 68.7.189.144	7-Feb-05/6:21 PM
this is pretty good
Re: Separation by Dovina	al-naafiysh 204.215.33.140	7-Feb-05/3:49 PM
Love the poem!
Re: An intolerable rash brother by Crakyamuni	Mister Cakes 81.168.71.189	7-Feb-05/3:46 PM
great
Re: Ann & Dan & I by Goad	Mister Cakes 81.168.71.189	7-Feb-05/3:38 PM
Not what i expected
Re: Nuculer Power by MacFrantic	Mister Cakes 81.168.71.189	7-Feb-05/3:37 PM
Shit
Re: Separation by Dovina	jroday 204.215.33.140	7-Feb-05/2:59 PM
"Ye can not drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye can not be partakers of the Lord's table, and of the devils." A doubleminded man is unstable." I love the beginning of verse two--Revelations
Re: Sins of your father by poodietat	Dovina 12.72.3.63	7-Feb-05/1:45 PM
Almost too direct and pointed to be called a poem. Still, you got the point accross loudly. Not bad.
Re: Lust, and the Sad Soul by woodstock20000	Dovina 12.72.3.63	7-Feb-05/1:31 PM
Verse 2 is good because it first presumes an imortal soul, then with the word "would" casts doubt. Verse 3 is weak, for the cliche "to and fro," and for its bland wording.
Re: a comment on Lust, and the Sad Soul by woodstock20000	Prince of Void 217.218.131.164	7-Feb-05/11:24 AM
your poem is interesting to me ..there is sadness in your poem i can feel it .............. i know what's behind these lines .. i know the images cant be words if it can be ...it will be other side where i think worlds and worlds will be lost there ....
Re: ……………………………………. by Prince of Void	Prince of Void 217.218.131.164	7-Feb-05/11:07 AM
…………………………………….
Re: a comment on Lust, and the Sad Soul by woodstock20000	woodstock20000 209.40.29.2	7-Feb-05/9:54 AM
Thanks. I'm more of a visual artist, and english grammer tends to always have its way with me. This is actualy the first poem I've ever realy written down. So keep the critiques coming people! I need as much help as I can get.
Re: a scene in american ghetto by cowmoo	zodiac 212.38.134.51	7-Feb-05/12:45 AM
"beakniks" - Great.
Re: Lust, and the Sad Soul by woodstock20000	zodiac 212.38.134.51	7-Feb-05/12:43 AM
You mean "It shudders in its own immortality." And "its" in the next line, too. "wonders" should be "wanders". And you can't wander "along" a place. You can wander along a promenade, the bank of a winding creek, or nearly anything else commonly understood as having length. A "place" does not.
Re: Ann & Dan & I by Goad	zodiac 212.38.134.51	7-Feb-05/12:37 AM
I wonder if you've seen this: http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=100471
Re: a comment on Girly by Dovina	zodiac 212.38.134.51	7-Feb-05/12:34 AM
"Zodiac is befuddled as usual" You are right as usual. By which I mean: I am right as usual; you're wrong. I'm waiting for your answer on the one-of-a-kind thing. PS-Please don't change the last four lines. That's simply a terrible suggestion.
Re: Ann & Dan & I by Goad	Dovina 12.72.3.226	6-Feb-05/9:14 PM
Terrible, but funny.
Re: Thanks (Dovina) by jroday	Dovina 12.72.3.226	6-Feb-05/9:09 PM
The first verse of this poem is the most tender and nicely worded sentiment I have read in a long time. Some people on this site will say I’m just swooning to a line. Let them talk, because I believe you. I’ll give them their only satisfaction by saying that the second verse is a bit cliché, but it too is something I believe you mean. The third verse matches the first in warmth and tenderness, and the line, “even when you don’t understand” is perfect. Thank you jroday, you’ve been through a lot and come through strong.