Re: a comment on Hate the Contestant by Blindpoetry	Blindpoetry 68.11.192.79	23-Jan-05/2:59 PM
It'd be conformistishy to listen
Re: a comment on Tale of a lonely heart by Bhaskaryya	Goad 217.95.209.144	23-Jan-05/2:38 PM
Thought you might like that. Yes. Read somewhere you are in the Middle East. True? Or superfluous hyperbole from a 'wanker mudslinging contest?
Re: a comment on Tale of a lonely heart by Bhaskaryya	Goad 217.95.209.144	23-Jan-05/2:34 PM
Bhaskaryya, I read your profile, which says your 17 and English is a second language for you. First, let me commend you on your command of English, which is far better than that of many native speakers here on the 'wanker. Second, let me ask you, why do you want comments on your pome? Because it's a fucking terrible poem. Do you want to hear that, and why, or do you want comments from people who will tell you you're a sweet creative boy genius who's touched their heart and omigod I felt EXACTLY this way LAST TUESDAY!!!!111 schmalzy means "effusively or insincerely emotional"*, like for example a bad pop song that makes you roll your eyes, or a hallmark greeting card weltschmerz is a German word (but often used in English) that means "world-weariness: sadness on thinking about the evils of the world"* can you see how "schmalzy weltschmerz" might apply to the second half of your pome? *definitions from WordNet In any case, pay little attention to me. I'm a cranky old git with only the tiniest smidgeon of talent for writing, long ago dried up and shriveled away, who comes occasionally to pomeranker purely for the cathartic experience of ridiculing and bullying those with even less talent than myself.
Re: a comment on Unwed by gilded in gold	Goad 217.95.209.144	23-Jan-05/1:39 PM
jesus christ, I made TWO grammatical errors in a post lambasting somebody else's grammatical error. Somebody please just shoot me.
Re: a comment on Unwed by gilded in gold	Goad 217.95.209.144	23-Jan-05/1:32 PM
No, I'm realLY boring. Or did you mean "you're real -- boring!"? If so, I assure you I'm quite false. But I doubt you meant that. It would be quite out of character for an illiterate poseur to profess to prefer artifice over realitát. "Being real" is, after all, the standard apologia for those who wish to defend their eschewing of technique, study, editing, and all other forms of artistry that require actual effort. In any case your pome is quite decipherable: it expresses the adolescent yearnings of a teenage boy that someday he will meet a real woman with whom he can live out the fantasies he used to have when he masturbates to the woman in the black velvet painting in his uncle's house, the one where the woman is posed with her side to the viewer, exposing one full breast, the face mostly hidden 'neath her loosely falling hair and a raised arm. It hung in the upstairs hallway, beside the framed roadmap of Texas from 1957 (a memento of the roadtrip that marked your uncle's coming of age). You would often linger there, to impress the image in your mind, when you passed it on your way to the musty-smelling upstairs bathroom of your uncle's house to wank, hoping your parent's wouldn't notice that you were needing to go to the bathroom every half hour.
Re: Unwed by gilded in gold	gilded in gold 141.152.251.93	23-Jan-05/12:20 PM
to Goad, who considers incomplete thoughts unworthy of interpretation and "mental diarhea" or "meaningless dribble", i say, you're entitled to your preferences, and you're real boring.
Re: a comment on Puritans by zodiac	Goad 217.95.209.144	23-Jan-05/11:45 AM
you are an incredibly pretentious little flaming bullshit poseur. You write about things about which you could obviously know nothing, as the haughty spoiled little 17 year-old you are. All your images are needlessly opaque, probably because you create them by pulling magnetic poetry from a hat, and the reason you don't write many things that rhyme is because you have only a very clumsy command of the English Language and because your grandmother took your rhyming dictionary away from you after you wrote that pome about her in the hospital. P.S. Please send as much more of your flaming bullshit poetry to this address: "GoadToad@hotmail.com" as you possibly can, as soon as possible. I need it. Uh, for a, uh...study. That I'm doing on pretentious child prodigies. Er, that is, poseurs.
Re: a comment on Puritans by zodiac	Goad 217.95.209.144	23-Jan-05/11:36 AM
you can break based on rhythm. You can break an image in two, to overload the separate parts, creating synergy. You can break to make the pome parse awkwardly, because awkwardness is the feeling you're going for. You can break where you breathe, to create a sense of inevitability. You can break in syncopation with where you would breathe in speaking, to create a sense of breathlessness. I'm not claiming that I do any of these things myself of course. I break by using 2d10 to roll a letter count for the line.
Re: a comment on Unwed by gilded in gold	Goad 217.95.209.144	23-Jan-05/11:21 AM
Let's try putting it a different way: When you "leave things to interpretation" by having a complete thought (or image), from which you excise details to pare the thought (or image) down to the size and shape of a few stanzas, while leaving signposts for the astute reader to reconstruct a complete thought or image for themselves: that is a valid exercise. We all agree to call that poetry. When you have an INcomplete thought, from which you jot down a few random phrases/images, from which you then demand that the reader construct their own complete thought, that is not a valid exercise. Assume a reader does construct a complete meaningful thought for themselves, engendered by your dribbled phrases -- should they ascribe to you any credit? for what? a cowpatty lying in a pasture, whose folds and texture happen to resemble the shape of a lovely young girl's buttocks might also engender a sudden vivid intense rush of imagery in the mind of a passerby. Ought they then to deem the cowpatty a genius? We agree to call such writing "mental diarhea" or "meaningless dribble" to distinguish it from the more difficult to write and more meaningful to read "poetry" HTH, Goad Esq.Po.Et.Ry
Re: a comment on In Love as in Love by Everyone	Goad 217.95.209.144	23-Jan-05/10:51 AM
It's unmistakeable. The quintessential Barbecuing/Roasting-As-a-Metaphor-for Love is entirely present. Slightly sublimated in "electricity...high voltage...up and down my spine", obliquely referred to in "glazed over eyes (as is: honey glaze sauce", and directly referenced with the offhand "body is as hot coals" Browse through her pomes. You'll see that every one has a reference, sometimes quite oblique, sometimes painfully obvious, to her barbecue/cannibalism fetish.
Re: a comment on My Poison ( Vodka ) by Brittanyy	Goad 217.95.209.144	23-Jan-05/10:33 AM
You disgusting parody of a sanctimonious old goat, this pome is nothing but a hard lump pulled at random from your colostomy bag. You gave it a 10 because it reminds you of your bed in the morning.
Re: Paris, 1934 by Fear of Garbage	Goad 217.95.209.144	23-Jan-05/10:07 AM
jesus you are ungodly. I hate you you presumptious fucking little git. cleverly overloaded words, syncopation with sibillants in opposition to b's and k's, impeccable rhyming, tantalizing inner rhymes. deliberate odd word combinations that force the mind to construct images and meaning that soars beyond the sparse construction. This is how I used to imagine writing (when I was young and gave a fuck) but never actually could. I hate you I hate you I hate you. P.S. Never stop writing.
Re: a comment on Life is my agony by Prince of Void	Prince of Void 217.218.131.171	23-Jan-05/7:38 AM
yeah u are right ....thank u for ur comment
Re: Life is my agony by Prince of Void	Shuushin 70.16.192.124	23-Jan-05/7:35 AM
"I must despairs" is intentional for the second to last line? Definitely conveys a sense of hopelessness.
Re: a comment on #28 by Lifeboatman	Shuushin 70.16.192.124	23-Jan-05/7:29 AM
(not a sonnet)
Re: To You, My Son by Bhaskaryya	Bhaskaryya 212.162.192.165	23-Jan-05/1:54 AM
Trying to be cynical lol
Re: paint me a poem with pictures by nentwined	Bhaskaryya 212.162.192.165	23-Jan-05/1:50 AM
Classy!! Beautiful work!
Re: a comment on Tale of a lonely heart by Bhaskaryya	Bhaskaryya 212.162.192.165	23-Jan-05/1:45 AM
I've no idea 'bout Schmalzy weltschmerz but could you please actually comment on my poem?
Re: a comment on Three In a Room by Sam	Sam 222.126.119.106	22-Jan-05/7:21 PM
LOL! The poem as far as I am comcerned isn't all about it.
Re: a comment on The Stone Seeker and the Stacking by darkshark	darkshark 199.174.150.75	22-Jan-05/5:27 PM
I'm glad to see someone read and thought about this poem. I suppose the meaning of it is rather oblique, and I could fix that. But it's actual one part of a series of poems dealing with a loved one's death. This poem happens to actually be written from the viewpoint of God, who is building up his kingdom one stone -- or human soul -- at a time, and remembering who they were before they changed from their physical state and how they have come to where they are, using the four seasons as a symbol for the passage of life. And as to trying to sound profound, yes, I am to some degree considering who the speaker is supposed to be -- but this was also submitted as a first draft, before any actual editing or paring down on the blatantly overly poetic language. And what has it offered you? I don't know what it has offered you specifically, but at least it made you think enough to write a fairly lengthy response, which in turn caused me to do the same. And I'm so sorry if you feel cheated and worthless.