eliastemplar
replying on Death's Invitation by eliastemplar
6 Oct 2004, 10:40 AM
I've spent time in a teargas chamber before. At some point you accept that you won't be able to hold your breath long enough, and you hate yourself for breathing.
May he see your coin as a shield reflecting any arrow he might aim, and Afganistan as a place that's already taken too much. If I were in charge, they would send middle-aged women like me to war and spare the young folks.
Just swell.
Thankyou for correcting my typo. As for the coin, I find reminders useful in a combat zone. Sometimes I find myself drinking tea or breaking bread with Afghani village elders. In the battle to win hearts and minds I've even caught myself sharing familly photos and stories of home. The danger lies in forgetting that these people or perhaps their neighbors are plotting to kill you. Even when I am home enjoying a beer and a game of billiards it's good to be reminded not to take life for granted.
It's strange, I will embark on another mission tomorrow, and it seems it will lead me down the very same isolated path that I wrote this poem about. If death is waiting there again, hopefully he will see my coin as a ward and not a challenge.
I meant the same thing is great about confusion.
Not too amusing, please.
Passed not past. And 'I returned to his broken trap' I had no idea you even came from there or for that matter what form this broken trap showed itself in. And do you really need a coin to remind you that you nearly died.
Not confusion, different processing.
I have a letter that might as well be around my neck reminding of a narrow escape, and in a bargain with the grim reaper, there's the stones of a crumbled foundation accross a wooded path. Thanks for the reminder.
a great thing about confusion.
I never would have thought to write a poem about taking a leak, but you've started my gears turning. I found this poem very amusing.
A great thing about poetry is that what I think when writing is not necessarily the thought arising in a reader. Thank you.
A very emotional piece. I enjoyed the imagery. I didn't feel any pressure to "get the point". It seemed more despair than rage. Thankyou.
Pure and well written. It seems like it should be negetive, yet it pleasantly reminds me of the mystery and facination between lovers. It made me homesick. Intimacy is very elusive when you are deployed overseas. Excellent, Thankyou.
You use a lot of repetition in this poem, but I think the repetition is apropriate. War is suffering and corruption ad nauseum ad nauseum. I speak from experience. I think the world today is severely lacking in feminine influence, and we will all suffer until this imbalance is righted. So much is being wasted. It is not even clearly understood why we are fighting. I wish I were not here. I am probably losing my marbles. Thankyou.
I enjoyed this. We all struggle with faith. Faith is a self imposed struggle by design. Often our final refuge is faith in ourselves, creating a conscience to trust. Sometimes we are teased by spots and smears that appear on the blank page. Spots that our minds create from staring too hard. Faith comes at discount prices in a combat zone. You strain harder for answers when you realize your life could easily be cut short. Somehow it cheapens the discoveries you make, but you can ill afford to ignore them here. As though I were treating an ill patient I do whatever is necessary to comfort myself. In the end I find myself retaining more and more objects of faith close to my heart. Your poem reminds me of the fear and the struggle that always remain no matter how much faith you retain. Thanks.
At least you're off the marriage binge.
This is what poetry should be.