great hook with seranade I don't like the verb agreement here: "Shake the spiders from my mind and let it eat me up inside." I know that you could mean "it" is something else, but its not intuitive - save the trouble of deciphering and make the quantities agree, imho.

one of the better free-form pimples in a while.

L4 try: "A craving deepened by our thoughts of past" L9: "Just ask again and you'll encounter scorn" not too shabby, not too shabby at all. An extra bit for a sonnet.

I don't get these people placing their own poems on their favorites list. You have a whole page of your own with all your poems listed there, all neat and tidy.

"doth", "do'eth", "does"; I chose "doth" just because...er...well... I used to read a lot of Shakespeare's sonnets. Ok, maybe it is a little out of date. Thanks for your inputs. This will be a work in progress as I really liked the way this first stanza turned out. I'll have her call again soon and inspire me toward more. Stay tuned.....

Come spawn with me...

Good, but I'd like to see you expand it. The "soul doth yearn" thing is a bit (very) old school, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

I just dont know where you get these poems from you must have a great mind!!

This sounded like this porno parody of that movie the "Hours" I watched the other day, it was called the "Showers".

Wholesome house-building goodness. *9*

The rule that "each small life Feels itself the center of the universe," while a generally good one, probably does not apply to insects, mollusks, or the aboriginal races.

An excellent poeme! No... wait that's daft... a GOOD poeme. But I'll have to end this comment with a caveat, because 'caveat' is rather a trendy word at the mo, and being trendy is one of the most excellent things a person can be (caveat: there is no fucking caveat) -10-

Have you been guffed on by a spaztronic guff manual?

The poem says something about romanse and sex and regret that strikes home. I'd never get that from the above comments, but like it anyway.

Too much telling, not enough showing.

I fill with wonder.

Sadly true, some good insight. I'd call it free verse and look for ways to shorten it and cull the cliche, "Hell would freeze over."