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CommentsComments 28801–28820 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

INTRANSIT replying on Bugs by INTRANSIT 11 Jun 2004, 6:21 PM
Checks his pompadour.
Doug replying on The Gray Idea by Doug 11 Jun 2004, 6:11 PM
Sharpdick you are a hilarious asshole keep em' cuming! Besides my "work" took all of five minutes,so I doubt it's work compared to your sad ramblings of longed for anal penetration!
Shardik on fire has its own logic by impert&ent 11 Jun 2004, 6:02 PM
humus
Shardik on The Gray Idea by Doug 11 Jun 2004, 6:01 PM
I never contested my well fluffed homosexuality, and if anything it adds more perfume to when I state your work as being a crackling homerun of shit
Doug replying on The Gray Idea by Doug 11 Jun 2004, 5:55 PM
Sharpdick you are a brilliant critic,I love your comments!Even thought they are a sad rebellion against your latent homo-sexuality,please try to be more graphic next time.Thank you very little.
Shuushin on fire has its own logic by impert&ent 11 Jun 2004, 4:53 PM
"interiority of computers" - interesting. Some fresh ideas here, but the form is hurting it imho; got me thinking on it.
wilco replying on The Ocean Prefers A Sunset by wilco 11 Jun 2004, 4:49 PM
Yes, I have a bad habit of putting those small words in. That's been a problem of mine for a while. I guess changing my name didn't enhance my abilities any.
Shuushin on The Ocean Prefers A Sunset by wilco 11 Jun 2004, 4:47 PM
nice word caryatids. I like this - I think it would be better for the killing of some of the small words (the conjuctions and little preps - but I often say this).
wilco replying on The Ocean Prefers A Sunset by wilco 11 Jun 2004, 4:13 PM
Thanks for the feedback..I decided to kind of go a different (yet ultimately the same) way with it. Maybe this is better?
Shardik on The Gray Idea by Doug 11 Jun 2004, 3:32 PM
A shitaco with extra snips of shredded ass.
Doug on The Pear Blossom Highway by Shardik 11 Jun 2004, 3:03 PM
smack dab in the middle-wow you are brilliant!
Doug on Turdzilla by Shardik 11 Jun 2004, 2:57 PM
Childish yet funny.I think you smoke too much weed.
Doug replying on A Strenuous Recollection by Doug 11 Jun 2004, 2:54 PM
What the hell is fleck?
Shardik on A Strenuous Recollection by Doug 11 Jun 2004, 2:36 PM
(fleckier)
Doug on Shamefaced by Doug 11 Jun 2004, 2:28 PM
How many people visit this site anyway? Like 3 a day? Could somebody critique my poem please?
impert&ent on leavetaking by daniella 11 Jun 2004, 2:18 PM
As ever, beautiful.
god'swife on Bugs by INTRANSIT 11 Jun 2004, 1:40 PM
I love the way you've structured this. I'm so proud of you.
god'swife on First Kiss by david 11 Jun 2004, 12:44 PM
Nice poem. I read this aloud 5 times and it seems to me the '...fishbowl...' line doesn't belong, it takes away from the image you've created. It's a good line, but sometimes we have to toss the good ones away, or save them for some better use. I think if you end the stanza at '... years' it works better. Then begin a new stanza with 'It...'. I prefer '...a clay pot.' to '...her clay pot.'. Since you title the poem 1st Kiss don't you think '...kiss' at the end of the penultimate line works better? the last line is grammatically confusing. As written you could be saying the kisses left them with a craving for decades. Is that what you meant to say? If not try saying ...................., the kiss That left, for decades, its taste in their mouthes.
Caducus on Bugs by INTRANSIT 11 Jun 2004, 12:39 PM
Exquisite and bookmarked as a favourite 10
richa replying on The daisy-chain girl by richa 11 Jun 2004, 12:00 PM
The us are the other people in the orchard who are shaking the apples. The daisy chain girl is hearing their voices. The first quote is the voice of tradition/ scripture. The second quote (final line)is the other people in the orchard arguing from the tradition/ scripture of the first quote.