New Life Drug
on sweet kissing me there by misslexy
10 Jun 2004, 11:20 PM
makeout sessions gone too far. HAHAHAHA luv it.
there used to be apricot trees and a kickass orchard by my house and i'd go and pick them and cherry plums every summer...now its all gone..all thats left is an ugly dried up field.
i almost lit my house on fire trying to give the burn affect to this letter i wrote...anyway it was for an english project, meant to be part of this scrapbook..my dad was so pissed and now he doesnt let me play with fire...
good news is a got a 100% on the project YEHAWWW
i love painting nuns
i think my whole life is one big villanelle
i love the title and everything about this cuz its just honest and to the point yet its long and uhh i dunno i just like it for some reason
this makes no sense
I try writing free verse or whatever else, but with this, I just picked up my guitar and puked it out. That's why it is what it is. Wasn't a whole lot of contemplation with it...almost like free-association trying to get over it. Anyway...it'll pass, as all things of this nature do. Thanks for the feedback.
I was wondering if I perhaps should have hunted you down to disturb your hibernation. Welcome back, and take this blessing of nine- I liked the poem, but the line breaks made it a bit confusing, though I suspect that was your intention, somewhat.
Well, my latest villanelle is a writers block piece.
Villanelles are considered to be well suited for expressing unsettling issues that a poet has, etc. so I figured it would simply be a matter of time until I wrote a vill in response to writers block. for some it worsens the block, but it eases my imaginative stiffness when it plagues me.
You could try that perhaps, or something other than a lyric- since, in my experience anyway, writing lyrics aren't effective during writers block.
Remember my last post? Writers' Block? Well guess what...its still here. ;0)
My writers block villanelle. Hope it isn't too whiny.
Well.. you know, this doesn't look as if you put all the ability you have into this one.. if it were to be sung, I think it would come out lame. Theres the potential for this to be extended and improved though.
In the mean time, I bless thee with five. Go in peace.
I like it. Loaded with attitude. Blessed with eight.
Your use of picasso instills in me the feeling of inadequacy. Take this blessing of ten and begone!!
wilco
replying on Bitter bacardi makes the black stones dance. by SupremeDreamer
10 Jun 2004, 6:45 PM
Hey, nothing wrong with that. I do my best writing drunk.
SupremeDreamer
replying on The curse of language and other scattered thoughts by Y2kSlamPoet
10 Jun 2004, 6:43 PM
Well, yeah.. kinda.. but I really wanted to see the response I'd get from posting this bloated and disordered rant on poemranker- I was expecting a general reaction similiar to that expressed by zodiac. heh.
If the poem is that bad, then why not tell me why you are giving it a zero?
SupremeDreamer
replying on Bitter bacardi makes the black stones dance. by SupremeDreamer
10 Jun 2004, 6:26 PM
I didn't expect many to feel this one, I wrote this for my amusement when I was drunk. But it serves it purpose in revealing some of my kinks with villanelles at least.
1. You never tell us who he is, in relationship to you or the world. 0
2. What is the ambrosia, the fear, the roses? 0
3. Designate what? 0
4. Drifting where? 0
5. Retrospect? So far there's nothing to look at backwards or forwards. 0
6. His agility was found by what act? 0
etc. etc. etc...
Everything in this poem is completely vague, how can the audience relate to or feel the emotion of something without emotion. Can you tell me what the emotion is in this poem? No, I didn't think so. I don't have time to keep repeating myself over and over again when I read a poem that's completely in trouble. Take a class, pay someone to help you, or read books on writing poetry. Nothing in your work is clear or dramatic. You show terrible taste in your choice of words. Personally, I honestly don't think you'll ever be any good at writing poetry. Poets are born not made. You can improve, but only so far. You're poetically tone deaf.
there are you happy now?