horus8
on The Angel and The Ass by pain killer
2 Jun 2004, 1:28 PM
And how is this a prose poem? This is a soggy cracker jack in denial mang.
Yeah, about as interesting as my mother farting.
"angry chickens"? Need I say more? 6
Swit
Shrapnel
ha thanks titan...although this is not autobiographical..it's made up y'know...as a matter of fact my life is very much...ah okay you got me i have a shit life...how'dya guess?..i've just been through the wringer recently..i'll get over it though...just gotta write a few more poems i guess...art as personal therapy and all that..now let me check out some a your stuff..i'm still very much a newcomer to this site...still finding my way around
What the fu...?
ugh.
The last line's a mammoth disappointment. Some very good lines and structure. In S2, I can't tell if you or the stones are whipping through a bleak blue sky, needs clearing up.
It doesn't work because nothing interesting happens. Your other poems are interesting.
A couple of lines detract, the last and 64-65. Lots of interesting similes, and adj. good.
I got the idea of the title from the Nick Cave novel...I decided to write a bitter sweet tale of unrequited love disguised as a childrens poem...i dunno if it works or not...you tell me
would be much better without that last line...eek that is horrible.
Ummm...this is, er, autobiographical i suppose...shit happens and, err, shit happened and is still happening unfortunately...
I liked the just on the edge of dark, old romantic feel of this.
got to give you a 10 for this. Your stuf just gets better
not everyone has a shit life like you !!!
like your poems though
see the man in the anorak writing poems on PR.
good one 9/10
Parts of London are almost as filthy as Larkin