Sasha
on I Had by Spindle
19 May 2004, 7:37 PM
not bad. -8-
fine
does this rhyme?
your talking about the band, Audioslave, correct?
I believe that is one word... 'Audioslave'...
Marvelous, stupendous, and bad.
ha haa, youre right ;)
Thanks guys, but these still aren't new ones. I've been working on a few here and there, but nothing I'm willing to post. I appreciate the encouragement and suggestions, it really does help.
oi vey. whelp, here is a spin>>>>>>1 sorry, i cannot control the arbitrary nature of the spin.
You're getting better. Just try not to force the rhymes so much.
Don't be too hard on yourself.
And for the record, I'm sorry I said Shuushin was a "Hey Guys" guy. I should have... well, I should have been the adult in that situation, and I wasn't. *tears*
PS-That last part would be a fine poem if you could find a way of saying it well. And you might as well know none of the people in any of my posts are very true-to-life, with the exception of the girl who tries to commit suicide by running into interstate traffic and the girl in the California poem, who is my wife, and who pronounces Chivas as "chi-VAHSS" rather than "CHI-vas".
Ok, I see what your saying. I guess I'm one of those "Hey Guys" guys.
But, you know, if writers used reality it would be more like:
Sarah cooked dinner and got pissed
because I said it was 'pretty' good.
She wouldn't give me a blowjob
for a week and that really sucked.
I guess what I'm trying to say is it shows.
Since you're in CA, I'm sure "Washington woman" means she's from the state of Washington. I've always heard other West Coasters consider Washingtonians the toothless rednecks of the West. Is that true?
I'm especially interested because I'm from Seattle and I was horrified at how quickly my parents turned into typical Southern white trash when they moved to North Carolina.
Ok, then. thanks. Even if you were comparing it to "Meet Virginia", though, I guess there are worse you could'vr compared it to....like Creed....
and
She does not exist. I made her up. fic-sho-nul.
This is much better than "Meet Virginia", but it's still about some specific woman whom I can utterly not make myself believe actually exists.
You will answer something like: She does, I know her.
Nope. I'm still getting nothing.
So are you saying that this sounds like 'Meet Virginia' or are you just talking about that particular song because they are both about women?
I don't just blab about this to anyone, but some of us at poemranker have devised a secret tool for writing really great poems, and I think it could really help your own poemwriting.
It's called the "John K Rhyming Dictionary For Beginners" and it's posted at the following link:
http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j
I think writing poems about eccentric women is totally great and easy to boot.
Do you know the band Train? One of their songs is entirely about the eccentric things this woman named Virginia or Idaho or something does. If you try to say, "wait, women don't really do those things," Train just says, "well, Virginia does. It's real specific, see?" Trust me, I've tried telling them before and it was an enormous disaster.
But seriously, one of the things Virginia does is "wears high heels when she exercises." And half the people who hear it are like, "oh man, she's exactly like some woman I know! Train is such a great observer of human behavior!" Bullshit. I mean, come on, people! High heels? Jesus!
"To put it as humanly possible" needs at least two more words to start making sense.
Fails to describe what a tripped-out freak street-poet you are.
-0-
If by "rap" you mean the blundering rhymes of Debbie Harry on the Blondie song "Rapture", then yes.