Shardik
replying on Tripping Through A Paper Square by Shardik
16 May 2004, 2:14 PM
Coon
Yo in my surreal world ..i have never read such things ??? thank u for reading my chaotic poem ...
I have a poem ..created with my feelings that has seized within despair ...that brings the void ...im lost like those words can't be in one blank paper...that is that
i like it ...it has made an image in my head ...
emptiness is my business ....despair is my blood
A few commas couldn't hurt.
"You are what you make of me".....who'd you learn that from?
I was intentionally keeping it simple in order to convey a feeling. Interpret the conveyed feelings any way you want, just remember: you are what you make of me. This mysterious "you" is who the poem is written for.
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"live and love inside my universe" sounds like an anglophone Catullus on a bad day.
The whole thing seems a quasi-religious litany to some weird semi-deified entity known as "you." However "you" is most certainly not human because "you" is unable to air "your"m pain in reality. Then again "you" is also not omnipotent because "you" is not the one in whose universe the "living and loving" is done.
Please explain who this mysterious "you" is.
Thank you
Read the masters. Learn about them so that you can forget later.
more hyphens! smash the molds!!
Freaky when something doesn't get any comments. I think it's fine. Quite good actually.
the answer is yes!!
I know just how you feel!
fuck the po po yo.
haaaaahaahah thank you
dont pity me...its a waste of time, definately not worth it.