sliver
on Bracelets In A Box by cuddlytiger17
10 May 2004, 8:56 PM
TEEN? That's been a fanta------- O.K. I actually like this, I guess 28 years hasn't been enough growing up for me. But expand n these feelings, It says what you mean, now just find more ways to say it. By the way, how old is your friend Sasha? I'm not afraid to travel!
kaolin fire.
Confucious says:
Zodiac, thanks for the comments. I wrote this a while ago while Dave and I were doing really well and I missed him vey much. Since then...well, everything has changed. Might need to write a new poem to explain it all. Anyway, thanks for the thoughts and believe me Ive thought it over a bunch.
Whatcha on? share?
Yes, It's always worth it. Been awhile since I've been here, how ya doin?
nice. now it all comes clear.
alles ist klar.
I'm not really seeing anything "shamelessly lewd" here, but it's pretty good.
nothing lewd here, zodiac. can't you make L1 of S2 work with the sounds of this bit:
' our clothing/
skimmed like curd, when the soothing '
this is so lovely to the ear.
and, up-ending the water jug' does not work as well for sound--but visually, that is one hell of an image.
i like this revision!
Not enough cursing to really be a pimple....
What are we firing up? I got some shit the other day that....oh....wait....nevermind...what?
Oh, somehow....it works to perfection. I just like saying sloppy slaw.
-8- Because introspection is so very overrated.
Boggles my mind but I think nentwined has a purty good handle on it, on the big picture.
It affects everyone the same, so - no worries.
You know what? Sometimes I think that this weighted scoring system is some sloppy slaw. How do I get six 9s, an 8 and a 10 and I still only have a 6.08? Sloppy slaw indeed.
"The rain storms" delete "rain"; not too shabby. Stays I think to the right side of pimple - but only barely.
What else u got? Fire it up.