thepinkbunnyofdoom
on Three Bears by hotwire
10 Apr 2004, 1:55 AM
Good the of the Idea of comparing Teddy Bears, something comforting, to Men, without a doubt a odd territory. The execution is overly simplifed and a bit flailing to hold its self together but works out fairly well at the end. -8-
If you seriously spent 32 hours on this then you my friend are a moron. I see no literary genius here other then the use of the word Egg repetitively. It is however hilarious so thank you for giving me the laugh i needed
embersandenvelopes
replying on On the Theme of Melted Pianos by embersandenvelopes
9 Apr 2004, 11:44 PM
thank you :) This was one of the poems that came about from my love of a phrase of Pablo Neruda's dealing with the term "melted pianos"
I kind of like this.....very....abstract?
YEs, it is different but the grammatical errors to make it a little hard to read in places.
It's being made into a feature film starring Antonio Banderas and George Lopez.
very visual, liked the twist at the end
"a marijuana?" Can we just stick to what this site is suppose to be about; reading other peoples' works and critiquing them instead of making petty insults towards personality flaws you think you find in the two sentences you read of a comment by them?
It sounds as if you are living it, but it seems to be a dreary existance. I like the overall feel of this piece though. A well desaerved 8.
I like this one much better - less cliched. But it seems it is you, not he, who is proud when you say, how would you appreciate the things in life without me?" and "every love song without me would just be a song"
I think you are playing around with poets who speak constantly of sadness. I hope so! If I knew so, I would give a 10.
Other than dirt between the toes of those above and those below, what is going on here?
Yes, it's different and cute too. Check some grammar though:
"hold them dear will thee" ??
"or when i'm feelin week" should be weak.
"... a sled pulled by 10 square feet of rabid ferret" - I said awesome already, right?
awesome.
Not really, though I'm trying to get rid of it as we speak.
different. points for that.
I really don't mind the lowercase "i" as a tool themselves, but the capital usage with "I'll" kinda wrecks it.
No FuckinGidea - this, by the way, is nearly the definition of Modernism.
Could you tell me who is responsible for the following: "We want art for art's sake that will reflect the magazine's edgy, exciting attitude."