lastobelus
replying on The Blues by fevriere
12 Jan 2004, 2:16 PM
watch out or you'll also be quavering, you old goat.
Simplistic but telling. I feel the part about the storks is slightly lacking, not really inforamtive. Perhaps relish whatever metaphor strikes you. Or perhaps keep it this way.
Painfulyl evocative. Plus it sounds like it's published.
Kenny G's music is ok... I prefer more of a "ska" use for clarinets, though... (or w/e he plays...)
Intelligent. No con crit. Sorry.
Poetry is by nature non-sensical. I was referring to the personal feeling of depression, and literally, music expressing depressive feelings, and its tendency to linger. The use of "hang" was a morbid touch. Sorry.
Again, the image of kissing hands is a non-literal poetic one that I thought sounded confused & lovely. But I suppose I am not writing for myself anymore.
I must confess, I wrote it as a writing exercise with a list of required words. I should have re-read and edited but I didn't. I agree that the "criminals" idea looks, frankly, silly. Thank-you.
Even tigers sometimes purr.
You should post a series. Really, you'd be a ranker hit in no time.
Well, not even horus or me can manage to mispell "thou".. (then again, whats the point of using the word thou? now-a-days its just one of those overused 'n abused words used in an attempt to sound meaningfull and ceremonious.)
You have to be a brilliant moron to pull that off. Honestly. Especially since this poems substance is utterly idiotic and encased in horse shit.
No-one here can come close to a brilliant dunce like LBN, or his stupefied poetry.
your comment, not little big nose's poem
10, and damn brilliant.
A bit long.. alot of editing could be done (mostly minor tweaks allover) that could really improve this poem.
Blessed with eight.
There once was a twisted poof wizard
that had the poetical skills of a lizard
that had died on the road
humping a horny toad
With a leaky chode set to explode.
The dictionary rocks. (and promises to provide hours of fun!)
You shut up about Kilroy.
I have a pet beaver that's sad
Because it lives in a Pitt that's not Brad
And now my Jeniffer's Anistons
Depressed in uzbekistanian
Without lovely Brad's nad.
I've seen plenty of white ghetto shitheads during my time on earth... isn't it anti-PC to believe that only black folk inhabit "da ghetto yo?"?.
The phrase "white trash" doesn't exist for nothing "ye hear me dawg?".
Yeah, but... Come on?