?-Dave_Mysterious-?
on Torment by ThoughtfulSoul
18 Oct 2003, 5:19 AM
I always thought that poetry was wet and only for squares. I also thought that it couldn't be relevant to the youth of today. However, then I saw that you had used the phrase "mother fucker" at the end of your poem, and I realised just how wrong I had been. This really hit me hard.
Is this the same Rudyard Kipling who was expelled from The Baker's Guilde for pulling down his trousers and laughing madly at a tin of Exceedingly Good Cakes? I daresay his Plum Dumplings were the finest droppings ever to be secreted by human glands. Such a pity about that business with the exposed buttocks and the baguette au chocolat. Yes his methods may have been unorthodox, some may even say unholy, but I do feel it is time to let bygones be bygones and move on to cleaner pastures. This tired scandal has plagued the press for long enough!
Splendid!
Chillingly delightful! I especially enjoyed the whimsical spasm of joy I underwent upon reading "Knowing that you don't live in an ark". Of course, the price is another four hours of unimaginable agony as my crippled body jerks back and forth within my cruel Wheeled-chair of its own volition, but I daresay it's worth it! 10!!
Hark, doth the selection of savory treats now fall so malignly upon my snow-capped tongue of blistering iron? Oh for the darkness to shroud me once more, just but once, my dear. ("The Bakery" by Rudyard Kipling)
I can't believe it! It's amazing that you mention a special crown for good families, because in my town that's exactly what we have! Every year, the mayor selects five outstanding families from the town and awards them the Family Prize for friendship, love and courage. This year my family was one of the five! We don't get a crown exactly, but we do get a special medal that we're allowed to wear on special occassions. I guess it's kinda similar to your crown idea! I love my family. -10-
It is a well know literary phenomenon that infinitely many people have rhymed "love" with "above", but I've never seen anyone attempt to do it twice in one poeme. This really is such an emotional piece, with an emotion nestling not only on each line, but between each line as well. I'm not an expert on poetry, but when a piece like this is so full of joy, love, pain, emotions, tenderness, hope, fear and wonder, I cannot help but give you a -10-. Thanks.
Hair tends to help some be strong? You must be referring to Samson - the kindly Biblical character who lost his strength when he shaved his head but then prayed to Jesu so he could get it back again and crush a load of people with a building. But the next two lines are sublimely beautiful:
When you walk it moves like a ping pong,
It could hit others like King Kong,
These are the best two lines I have ever read on poemeranker. They capture the essence of hair so succinctly. -10-
What? Where do you live? Families are fariy tales lady.
Ok it's not really that bad but you're sugar coating makes me gag. Really now some families are like that but some are like the ones where the neigbor kid comes over to make sure the kid gets fed because the parents are too strung out to do it themselves and then the parents make the neighbor kid do things a nine year old shouldn't even know about. Others are like the one where the kid goes off to college and the parents move and don't bother telling the kid. Then you have the ones were the dad is long gone, the mother is just barely done giving birth and the baby is in a dumpster.
Turn your torment to a torrent and cry me a river
With such a power title you promised what you failed to deliver
OnTheOtherHand
on You must enter a title for your poem about lebsians! by OnTheOtherHand
18 Oct 2003, 2:45 AM
Working title of course.
no way
i agree
not nice
what are you trying to portray?
isn't there another verse almost like this one already written?
i like this poem.
strange poem
nicely written
was written for the upcoming holiday. to sort of scare the reader in fun.