-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
on A Fine Day To Exit by OnTheOtherHand
17 Oct 2003, 9:53 AM
Atrocious use of "above" to rhyme with "love", but you redeemed yourself with the ace use of "grape" to rhyme with "escape".
I like the last tercet best. Nice image you build here.
Syllable counts aside, this is haiku, though you'll get the "this isn't 5-7-5" naysayers anyway. (Anyway, many poets write haikus that don't strictly conform to 5-7-5--there is much more to a haiku than the number of its syllables.)
Excellent.
you become inspired to write like Big Daddy
You've outdone yourself with this grouped trio R.G.
Kicks ass.
Prefer my ass be sent to hell.
It is a persons spirit that goes to heaven, which I believe on earth resides somewhere in the neck (I think christians believe the spirit and therefore morality resides somewhere more phallic).
ps Is hell like some kind of gay bar then
no comment
Some THING? Or a being? and why the (?) What I found was applied to cats. and I didn't spend the time to absorb it fully. I will in the near future.
New research suggests they may actually be wearing skin-coloured pyjamas. This is just one example of a recent scourge of nudity fraud.
I assure you, I am currently nude.
More ironic if she was not true, and neither was the gun, you aiming the gun at youself and shooting her.
'I got a gun for my fist' (to replace my fist I read rather than to hold) is a cool line
cast a spell and gaping ears are a bit cliche.
Like the furrowed brow your borrowed frown is burrowing down wordplay
Nice wordplay 'limonade and I share white russian'
Beer that eats like a meal is a nice idea too
who knows? who cares? no-one in all likelihood. don't ask stupid questions or i will write nasty poems about you. i won't even put in enough effort to give it rhyme or rhythm.
Confound you pesky kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111
LOLTTM
Poo paper
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!
And horus8's real name is Matthew Bennett!!!!!!!!
And my real name is Alex Turner!!!!!!!!!!!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha etc.
Very revealing. Dire camel makes me shudder.
If Jesu offered you the choice of being gay and having your ass sent to HELL, or of being gay and having your whole body sent to HELL, which would you choose, bearing in mind that walking around heaven without an ass would make you look extremely foolish? (2 marks)
Perhaps a little extreme at times, but I agree wholeheartedly with the underlying sentiment. Well done!