Bachus
on Reptilian by Christof
9 Oct 2003, 10:59 AM
ha haa haa, you crack me up. brilliant ending my two notes would only be:
"You bastard snake, again, and again."
And a typo with comma correction in S1.
9.
Do.
Well then "dunse" is dunce. You're welcome.
J.B. Manning
replying on Life on the Sidewalk (with superfluous vulgarisms) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
9 Oct 2003, 10:29 AM
Gawd, what a terribly constructed sentence that was...lol...zzzzzzzzzz
I'm fine my blue collared beat bud ! Its national poetry day in England today and i am off to blow the dust off a few slap heads with some of more upbeat work. Funny aint it, how on national poetry day nobody at the library knew? This is the birthplace pf Phillip Larkin and nobody knew in the library.
I will e-mail you soon m8 !
Let the shenanigans begin !
Oh, ok, well that's actually funny then.
CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM ONLY PLEASE.
THANKS.
Yep, this comes through loud and clear and passionate. Woof!
"the day children killed Jesus's great grandson." I would drop this line altogether, and end at the line before it.
Robert Johnson's "Phonograph blues". (That's what I was listening to while just reading this). How are you? I missed you.
I like it. . . I just don't get what you are saying in the 4th and 5th to last lines. . .8
Look Hywel just cause your you're yore ure a Plydd Cymru facist student nazi separatist with large bald headed handlebar moustached tendancies and a stupid welsh name doestn't mean that Cadacus should abandon his attempt at further European intergation. Admittedly its only franglaise with a dash of german at the moment but give him time would you!
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
replying on Timmy Christ didn't like Dr. Seuss by Y2kSlamPoet
9 Oct 2003, 9:24 AM
The funniest thing about this poeme is SupremeDreamer's laughable attempt at making it rhyme. I eagerly await his next, even riper offering which, I might add, is rumored to not only rhyme, but also vaguely scan!!!!111
first verse is the best, a very eccentric rhyming scheme but it seems to work.
A small criticism is the use of a narrative too much, rather than setting the scene and letting the reader infer. When the poet takes the interpetation away from the reader, the reader feels like he is prying.
Other than that good stuff
for me, it reads like a blow to the head with a wet text-book. and believe me, i know PLENTY about that!!!
Yep ! sure floured my apron
De Ja vous but i like it
7 even
the poem bites but the title sucks like a long distance lover 6
Have you gone completely mad. This is quite superlative.
He prayed before eating raisins!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
At lunch he drank holy water!!!!!!!!!! holy water for good christs sake woman. Can't you see it!!!!!!!!
see even Y2kSlamPoet loves it - and each time i reread it, i laugh even harder.
He laughs EVEN HARDER
Now do you see?????/////Aye?