hoochie coo. 8.

almost.8

A serious piece of serious pieces 10

A dastardly piece of factual trivia, bravo. 10.

my only critique would be it should be compressed by two. In other words each line should take on the line below it doubling each line but making the actual physical poem smaller by a half.

very visual

I has a very sweet cadence, one that rings true; a lovely flow. There are a couple "too easy" references though, which would be nice if tweeked out ("like a summers breeze", "like cool showers in the spring") - and I think "sweet" wants to be an adverb. "flowers in the Fall" is pretty good as describing a torture. It's a good, honest expression of love - though I haven't fallen in love with it (I'm happy to have it as a good friend).

The sheer genius is in the kneading of the dough. Yeah, so what if I'm into getting my nails done? it's better then using my teeth.

hohohoh almost orgasmic! 7!

heartfelt. 8.

There's a great poem in there somewhere That's for sure.

You are a primal dunce. And no returns.