Shuushin
on SupremeDreamer by King Abdullah I
8 Oct 2003, 8:41 AM
well, it rhymes, so ...
Dat's berry chute.
You can only post three poems a week here and you post this. Holy Christ. I mean, you stole half the thing from rhymezone.com - prolly got the other half from dictionary.com.
At least come up with 3 more stanzas and make it a real poem.
Y2kSlamPoet
on Joe-Joe's Retard Trinity Remix (There can be only one) by Y2kSlamPoet
8 Oct 2003, 8:20 AM
There, isnt that much more lively?
appalled? such things do tend to escape my notice often, but there isnt an excuse for moonshine. thanks for explaining.
-shrug-. They're all comedians.
The humor of it escapes me.
And i think the metaphor bit is hogwash.
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
replying on The Wrath of Dan Ackroyd by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
8 Oct 2003, 4:09 AM
The point is that anyone with an ounce of sense would have chosen Chevy Chase as a metaphor for John Candy. That's why choosing Dan Ackroyd is an inherently funny thing to do.
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
replying on Trailer Park: Diary of a Hayseed by DreamerSupreme
8 Oct 2003, 3:45 AM
Moonshine is one word.
"my window's view".
Frankly, I'm appalled.
clerical errors? where?
Ok. Shall do that.
quite good, id say. blessed with 9.
want me to donate some sandals?
blessed with 7
Thanks for the comments, appreciated.
what the hell is with the short lines? its damned annoying to read it in that fashion- specially since i dont see its purpose, and its written in a fashion where jaggedness doesnt suit it.
my only complaint- blessed with 7.
An excellent assemblage of words.
Im liable to miss the point at times, im not blessed with perfection.
BUT YOU ARE! Could you perfect me? Tame the evil?
heh.
dastardly? how so?
yeah, maybe i did, SO, SO??
YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT?
SupremeDreamer
replying on Ravens Flight - Voices of Spite (My First Ever Vilanelle) by Don-Quixote
7 Oct 2003, 11:31 PM
my friend? your quite mistaken, or very lonely.
SupremeDreamer
replying on Ravens Flight - Voices of Spite (My First Ever Vilanelle) by Don-Quixote
7 Oct 2003, 11:29 PM
All ideas getting used up? tsk, impossible, everytime i think ive run out of ideas i get a thousand more.
ill be improving my vilanelle ability a bit more before attempting a sestina- which can be quite the headache for a poet.
happy you enjoyed it.
SupremeDreamer
replying on Ravens Flight - Voices of Spite (My First Ever Vilanelle) by Don-Quixote
7 Oct 2003, 11:27 PM
yeah, the that line bugs me aswell, but i didnt have any other ideas at the moment, later on i might tweak it to something else.