some deleted user
on on the edge of creation by nentwined
1 Oct 2003, 7:57 PM
I like this! Oakland eh? I was born in Sonoma and lived in Bodega Bay. :)
Well worded. I like the imagery.
This is well penned.
Nice rhyme. It's so er....?
"I will steadily hide the smell
That my bacteria excretes to tell.
the world I am a sick can
Better opened under a ceiling fan."
Interesting.
???? Er..ok.
Maybe some structure?
Standing on my bed
staring at the coffee can
Pondering
when all of this bed wetting
began
People
at my church may say
that Iâm getting lazy
They still
havenât seen the other side of my mattress
"Iâve never been able to
let myself get better"
Cause I always seem to be
under a better bed wetter
And itâs j
ust gonna stay that way forever because
he purchased the
top bunk
You should use "and" instead of &...it works better.
Nice rhyme.
Feeling aggressive are we?
:intently evil grin: thankee. :)
HAHA SUCKERS!! WHO HAS THE LAST LAUGH NOW!! MUA HAHAHAHA **hack couch hack** HA!
Is there a reason that you feel the need to torment other members? I do not even know you. I can see why she is an ex! Oh I know...you must have a worm.( Did someone upstairs sell you SHORT? I must be the early bird now! "Lucky me..." :Yawns:
whip-crackin' good.