"staring" not "starring". a common theme. This doesn't stand out for me. though a bit of curiousity in "hiding in the shadows" and being afraid of "them all" (the shadows you're hiding in, or all the staring people that aren't there?)

A couple matters of rhythm bug me, but I like the tone.

strange.

why the dash in snoring?

I don't get it. :/

I like this. could use some spit and polish, but I'm not quite sure where. 9.

you've got some good (if not overdone) material, but the execution of it leaves room for polish. or a couple more tries. I'd suggest losing the first stanza and getting straight into the action. less generic angst, more bloody details, more specific emotion, less... less of every other poem on this subject.

hmm.

this is very strange. it tugs me several directions, so I'll just try to respond to it in a linear fashion. the first light sets me up for a horrible poem--cliche beyond belief. really. the second, though, is interesting--it says, "hey, here's a potentially unique viewpoint, sorry about that cliche I started with". "eye's" is the possessive of eye, not its plural. and "gold pyrite" ... it's just "pyrite". or "fool's gold". trying too hard for the rhyme, I think. the second stanza has some good sentiment in it, but it's clumsily stated. partially trying too hard for the rhyme, partially... just missing a coherent flow. the last two stanzas beat the drum of something I can't agree with, but I'll try not to argue that. Just a note that forced ryhmes and butchered rhythm really don't promote what you're trying to say. and "always beautiful in my head, no evil you can find" is just disturbing. really. like you're on some sort of "happy drug" ala brave new world, or being brainwashed ala 1984. really.

certainly you've removed the informative. somewhat. your imagery has me solidly confused (a black lump of oxygenated carbon). I can't really feel "a snow cone melting on summer's day" (hmm; nitpick: it should either be "in summer's day" or "on a summer's day"). I can feel "a slow trickle of organs", but don't think it has the tone you're going for? [[rather sublime and gross it is, an interesting idea, but... out of place]] really don't get what a "frosting freeze" would be. or what's reaching and what's being touched. ("to far gone" should be "too far gone") the second stanza has seeds of something, if there was a better flow to it; and the last stanza brings it crashing down, in my opinion. done done done.