dmzoacan
replying on Picasso (Limericks) by TanHand
28 Aug 2003, 9:16 AM
I'll read them later.
fuck you "dude"
Where for art thou pie??????// MERCU: call for me tommorow and thou shalt find me a besliced and partially eaten man!! TYBALT: pluck up your pie knife by the ears and something something ROMEO: BANISHED?? NO!!!! THERE'ST BE NO WORLD OUTSIDE PIE-CRUST WALLS IAGO: SQUAAAWWWK LEAR: I am very very old
my other eye! oww! This was a poemranker in-joke, id-iot.
yikes
I don't like spiders and snakes. The way they buzz the way they shake. (BNL)
(9)
i'm not h8, but i have some references:
http://thewordshop.tripod.com/forms.html
cmon, thats weak mother fucker.
Its like that cute joke made by a fourteen yearold at his friends birthday party.
tan, i expected better.. show me some real hardcore shit you bastard.
that said, heres a 7.
Gravid: (Adjective)
1: In an advanced stage of pregnancy
What, no dictionary? :)
Nice work. 10.
hrmm.. this is good.. just needs a bit of a tweak.. ill be brave, why not.. you can just shoot me if you think im suggesting something evil:
Father bribes her with a yellow-white brooch
(striped enamel, diamond, and ten glittery baguettes
that dangle in a black velvet case.)
She stretches up for the honey-pale token,
to pin it onto her blouse, over a heart lit like
a jack-o'-lantern.
But Saturn lumbers off with its curio cloudbank,
sky-tethers the icy shoal elsewhere, padding round
an orbit just out of reach.
----
Not much changing.. just a lil touch up in presentation.. youll have to do any other spicing up yourself... i only do slight facelifts.
Work on this, if you do it well ill give ya a nine..
for now, ill give you an 8.
hence? ;P
Hrmm.. i like this poem, despite the slightly retarded
"life sucks lets shoot somebody" Philosophy..
But.. i guess im a sucker for it.
Heres some suggestions:
Get out of the cliche, get into the soul
bring me into the universe of hopelessness
hate and revenge, trasport my mind
into the head of the crazed and depraved,
show me the world of men unsaved
and without hope..
with that stated:
I Want to take out everyone
(gerunds are weak use of verbs, dont use them
habitually)
With bullets and this gun.
Crazy, Psychotic is what they called it.
But thats fine with me,
because their dead.
oh well, my opinion.. you can always tell me to go fuck myself and i wont be offended.
lalala.. blessed with 7
Tanhand.. dont try to out do me in picasso poetry, i can get lengthy and zone into the soul of it.. or i think so.. what do you think? check out my two latest posts.
i bless this with 9 btw.
I liked this.. one of these days i need to attack poetic forms.. btw horus, i was wondering if you knew a good website that listed the forms and had examples of how to make them. If you know a good place tell me.
blessed with 10.
Im going to post a complete analyization of his artwork in a poem soon. shall be posted asap.
Indeed, i printed this poem out and stuck it on my wall.
If i know my social info correctly, godswife is your sister, well, she threw some information about picasso and his habit of beating his women.. and since my current writing has been going slow, she inspired me.. including the idiot who needed to defend a dead painter.. so i decided "poetic justice.. heres something that the world can consider, whether ole picasso was a lover or a fighter or: just a plain sadistic bastard with a brush.
I hope the picasso lover felt cold hatred when reading this.. ;D
so, your gonna become a big hit i hear, or thats what you publicly predicted. aye?
What does gravid mean?
In with shaved face, out with herpes. Life can be a fourweek seeping coldsore sometimes.