Caducus
on Memory by Hostileintent
14 Aug 2003, 12:58 PM
It holds together well but some of the rhymes (ie the bell that gongs) and: People love what people fear,and people love a compliance to violence, tend to over jam the tart a little. The view of the knight as a forgone protagonist of moral virtue works well against the ignorance of todays society your getting at and I think this poem would be generally revered by the majority as a good satire on present times, in a literary audience you fall in to my category, some will love it and some will dissect the shit out of it. Some poems I write for instance are more traditional in the poetic sense, but theres lots of my stuff (mainly death or love poems) which are pretty accessible. What I guess I am saying is I think poems such as these are better to be understood than to be decoded for there meaning.
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hey thats like a discription of how i felt in highschool.... ahh the good old..... well the old days anyway. hehe
its good, one of your best, if not the best
i agree, i was really liking it up intill the point that i couldnt read it any more, and while it still rhymed and sounded cool, i had no clue what you where saying....
hummm interisting, kinda hard to fallow, but its pretty good.
8
I like it. espetialy the last line of the 4th stanza.
good message 10
I like it. espetialy the last line of the 4th stanza.
good message 10
I like it. espetialy the last line of the 4th stanza.
good message
You see darling, here is a perfect example of what I mean. You trying to accomidate INTRANSIT because he didn't get it, so you came up with a way to make it clear, but what you came up with was forced. And then when speaking to me you say "I do hate to go over a bridge when I can see the rails" WOW there's a line there's an image that ties right into the meaning of the poem! She can see over the rail, and it's a long fucking way down, and she's just so ready to jump off. Plus you introduce the bridge for INTRANSIT just the way you wanted. Let your natural voice, which has all the insight necessary for poetry, be the poem. You are a poet.
Richa, this is lovely--very Emily Dickinson in its deceptive simplicity. Stalks spear the sun, maybe, to make it more active? Gallows, with the s, is the singular, btw.
One of my absolute favorites.
an old one of mine, I just deleted the last verse and changed a single line for housekeeping purposes
put the title after the poem and it sounds like the dialogue of a schizophrenic, which is worthy in itself.
mullberryfairy: 'why would anybody want two games of twister?'
'exactly!' -8-
good use of imagery and emotion.creates a nice scene in the mind.i like it.
question:any chance you could review 2 of my peoms? 'Memory' and 'Incomplete'? i would really appreciate it
good poem, all the images link in so well
and your signature food metaphor
I think she means if we felt nothing everything would be perfect in a way because we coul feel no pain but we who would love someone who felt nothing? I get it.
That is a very cool way to assasinate somebody. I will check my brakes before I cycle home, although it's basically uphill all the way. My house is at the top of a big hill, the university nearer the bottom. But I don't think that happens in North by Northwest, that has the famous crop-spraying plane chasing the guy in the field scene and the climax on Mount Rushmore. It sounds more like an episode of Last of the Summer Wine to me.
i saw this movie, where they got this guy drunk, reallllly drunk, and then sent him down a big mountainous hill, you might call it a mountain, but before this drunk guys wild ride, they cut the breaks, now thats a cool way to kill a guy!!! northbynorthwest i think?
will you marry me?
I like this a lot, there's a pleasing lyricism about it and yet the drought suggests a hint of evil beneath the surface. The final image of the gospel is powerful, suggesting the importance of light in the creation of the earth.
This is a pretty, but essentially vapid haiku. Which the fate of most haiku writers, unfortunately. But it flows nicely and works well.
By the way, I've never been to Cirencester, but the name makes it sound a most beguiling place.
well that all depends on what nothing is, some say nothing doesnt exist, but if it doesnt, what is it then, if it does, then its obviously something, so what the hell is up with all this crazy shit