Yep. Thanks for the feedback.

No, the poem isn't a Haiku (the style is listed as Other). The poem's title is Haiku, but that's a reference to the subject of the poem; I didn't mean it to literally describe the style. If you count syllables, you might notice a relation to Haiku of sorts, but since it's nearly iambic, the syllable counts had to be even numbers.

As soon as I have the confidence and discipline that a task of that nature requires. I have quite a few short storys in progress now. We'll see what they evolve into. I think I'll have about five scripts under my arm soon. Unfortunately, on friday I recieved a devastating blow by losing a script rewrite deal for 20,000$ I was really counting on it to live on, and support me and my family while I was working on my top secret vehicle currently called "Shen~Ring" at the same time (Something me and my friend wrote for me to star in and pitch to Miramax) I also wanted to finish my autobiography and memoires, and edit together some tight poetry manuscripts of my best work for competition, but I really need an editor and a literary agent to do that and even a lot of the other stuff too as far as my writing goes. So I'm shopping around for that currently. Now that I am recovering from the shock of working so long and hard on a piece for free in order to earn a long term secure writing job at a reputable production company and join society? And then the floor goes bye bye. So I just don't know when now. Thank god I have a movie role approaching to concentrate on for a friend of mine at AFI, and my music and songwriting offers fabulous opportunities to just take off and play the blues and ride in dirty vans and busses for crap money shit booze and stepped on drugs out of the hand of stepped on Back stage daughter and over made up mothers in acid wash jeans with mullets. that's always a gas. It helps to get away from the swollen testicles and wrinkled cunts of the older literary circles that are constantly taking my legs out from under me because, they are afraid of letting go of their utter unimaginative poorly observed poetic stylings that are absolutely doing nothing that history has come to expect from poetry. There hasn't been a real poet around since DA Levy died in Cleveland. Now these old farts won't even let go for a second. It's a pattern of paying your dues that's timeless and riddled with Buggers, Old money, Nepatism and constant favours for friends while the rest of us just wait for a slot with our thumb up a Jews ass drinking Latte Soy thing a ma bobbys. I just laugh about how funny it's going to be as their rights are stripped from them year after year by corrupt politicians while they are all still oblivious and playing cribbage and writing about birds and their stupid fucking Ivy league brats and the club house. Enjoy it while you can and thank god for Alzheimers.

yeah, i never knew so many people would see it as a feminine name when i decided to use it.. oh well. Clite/penis thingies? im no hermaphrodite ;P

All of their last names are favourite presidents also. Thanks, By the way Shardik's recent poem mentions pig appling. Please don't be offended. It's meant in general.

Take a look now... I did that right after posting the reply to your comment the first time. Great minds think a like...hehe

Not necessarily. I understood what was happening when it wasn't. what did I just say? First good read covered it. I'll read it again tomorrow and offer what little help I can. Unless someone beats me to it first.

Yeah, I know you are male, I just think of you as female for a split second every time I see your screen name. It could be one of those clit/penis thingies, take a closer look. (Glad you have a sense of humor about it, anyhow).

eh, sure, but i consider my eyes to be emerald ;P

You're welcome. What would this poem have been like if you hadn't been experimenting w/ rhyme but you kept the same subject. Maybe you could replace it with that poem that would be more natural for you.

lol joe, your funny. ;)

Shucks, you caught me trying to skip away without addressing the subject. Honestly, I am athiest, so I couldn't really relate. But it is a nice thing to write to your father, and a nice way to talk about grief.

Plus, i went to my dictionary AFTER writing a first draft darkie, i dont need to shift through the dictionary while writing. ;P

yes, your right dark, i can use a dictionary ;) and i dont have a problem admiting it. isnt that one of the points of poetry? to not use the same overused and crappy words that everyone else uses? eh? maybe i should of just used the less "sophisticated" words, and then i would have made a crappy 10 year old's poetry class submission. shut up,ok? im sorry your ego feels small when a 17 year old can do more shit with a dictionary than just sound smart by correcting peoples spelling.