Caducus
on WHY IS THE MEDIA SO LONDON-CENTRIC? Written last Tuesday by Nicholas Jones
11 Aug 2003, 3:14 AM
Nicholas,
London is the Capital and they own the Sun, we peasants outside London must accept that we are inferior to all cockneys. London is also the only city in England, they pay higher taxes so deserve to have the best of everything.
Exactly, very good point.
Not bad but show us this emptiness !
For example emptiness could be a bell not tolling, or a kiss before work after 20 years of marriage, give us what emptiness is to you. Also when you reach out what is there? is it emptiness? tell us about how the air feels so lost around your fingers anything other than nothing.
Lots of potential here but lethargic 5
This is more like a mass of teen angst thought processes weaved in to a poem. The end is too general and I wanted to see more imagination. Its not terrible its just formulaic, routine stuff. Try working with a few metaphors and add a bit more imagination and less cliche. *5*
Surely you could have an iambic haiku (although not one in nice Shakespearean pentameters). Well, sort of. It could go like this:
Life is to short to
burn our boats. We sit and dream
of moats and views and.
Problem is you have an odd number of syllables, so you're always going to have an uncompleted foot at the end. Note this example uses only words of one syllable.
so?
Very atmospheric. I guess the movement from a bridlepath to a TV represents a move from nature to mechanisation, from reality to depiction.
Something about the rhythm makes me expect some more rhyming, which doesn't come, thus confounding my expectations. Which is an excellent thing to do.
With exception to stanza 1 I thought this was well written. I've seen all the comments below about you being lazy lately but there are some vivid touches in this poem (stza 2/3/5 particularly).
One thing I have learned (you may have the same problem) writers need to be selfish, I suffer from being thoughtful but will NEVER leave a poem half way through if my gal asks me something.
No one it seems understands us, heres your 8
King Abdullah II
replying on My Fart Is Eternally Yours (Free Sniff) By Yo-Yo by DreamerSupreme
11 Aug 2003, 1:58 AM
Yo Joe-joe,
Listen I have to go to Greece... That's right I have booked a holiday. Can't relate to that huh. You've been alot of fun. I really enjoyed it. You're actually a pretty twelve year old girl ... but so sexy and so aware of your sexuality. You really should consider getting some large rubber cocks. When you grow up I'd be more than happy to fuck you up the ass. I can kind of relate to where you are. For the record I did not threaten you with sexual abuse. I am a old man who, in my younger days did enjoy fucking ass ... and did it quite well. But that's long gone from my system. I was just pointing out that you need to be very careful about how you approach people and the words that you use. I hope you're not stupid enough to talk face to face the way you do here on the net. I know that you're a beautiful young girl, but I do think you understand the concept of safe sex. I'm sure you're really just a beautiful sexy young being ... so you'll be okay. Like I said, I wish you the best of luck and hope that hardcore fist fucking finds its way to you. You can do amazing things with your anus if you're properly directed. Peace, Joy and eternal Happiness......Affectionally yours, King Abdullah II.
Well depicted and you took me there. I must get round to reading your other stuff = 9
One thing L4,S2 (the ocean)
A superb piece, and very fresh. One of my favourites of yours. be proud, good work.
This poem has a familiarity to it that I can't quite put my finger on. Probably because, it happened to me just like that once.
Sore on the eyes huh? You should see what it did to my tissue collection.
"Inside your bed a naked love toy lays,
About to fall to knees break down over weighted,"
Okay, bear with me here. Is it just me? Or do others see an obese housewife accidentilly bottoming out on a giant 5 speed nob veined vibrator?".
Yeah, it was my guess to begin with that no one would have the balls to try. Of course dark Angel will come over and do some bombastic parody called " Butt plugging Henry Miller " and maybe one other but overall no one cares to take chances really anymore except for Settle who is on his way over right now to stay on a layover from Japan. That kid can write three ways to China left handed and his ideas are just hilarious. i'll ask him to kill a Nun for me with a weed wacker. Imagine, he's currently doing a treatise on a "Peach" Lol.
nice start, id finish it, but im no song writer. ;)
well, dont worry, editors that hold onto the old days will soon die gasping about them beautiful years back in 1930. Then they will be replaced by 20 year olds who dont mind the new stuff, and you'll be releasing your works to the masses.
Kamasutra
Why not?
thank you