INTRANSIT
replying on Sonnet for a Suicide by <~>
30 Jul 2003, 6:26 AM
busted. cool custom job though. did you see this? or hear it in the news.
Yes, it's also the plague of Wile E. Coyote too.
like I'm really taking this one seriously. Dar... Pardon me. Mr Gayness should have done it. But white is not his gig. Dig?
"comes usually with.
After some treatments
you'll look like a sith."
oh, that sure is pimply, all right. but it sounds more like chronic acne!
i used: abcabc defdef gg. i'll call it a zzinnian sonnet. i always seem to write them in that pattern, and, not it's not english or italian.
Did you tamper with the rhyme scheme? I know of two types of sonnetts and this doesn't fit either.
I just couldn't resist when no one else had done it. maybe I should try harder. lol
The bad news: S-3 I don't like. S-1 curdling sky/clear sky. keep the curdling. overall, a bit too much. overdone.
The good news: You are tucked under a swans wing. paddle gently. listen to her rhythm. she will share her feathers. best of luck.
It may be pimply around the edges, it's almost spot on in rythm and has a mature message. there's potential here.
lol
Um, Caducus? You feelin' okay man? The last few poems have a down beat to them.
Who cares!
No, they're not really. But I believe the reader gets my poke at conformity.
Ah now, i never went to cooking class.. actually.. yeah, now that i think about it i actually did, but it wasn't a vegetarian class. But i was using the whole poem as like a metaphor for writing poetry actually.. but either way its still a good read, cooking class or writing.
ah, icecream. cherry cuban flavor. ;)
thepinkbunnyofdoom
on DJ Bling Bling spins authenticity by Jeremi B. Handrinos
30 Jul 2003, 12:21 AM
LOL.
What an Ironing Board.
10.
Doesn't fit together well.
It would be better without the capitalised onwards
staring at a spider you saw a spide rin front of you, who would of thought.
Other than that well put