Poemranker [most recent comments (45041-45060) and replies]

god'swife on Death In The Cherry Brook Nursing Home by scitz 15 Jul 2003, 9:52 AM

Life is for the living, and when you're old a comfy chair is worth the loss of a few principles. Nice flow, succinct.

richa replying on Memoirs of a Monk - St. Screamer by SupremeDreamer 15 Jul 2003, 8:37 AM

not sure about the dreamer/screamer bit. how about (insert) saint a-postate

Rodavlas on Aluminum Xena - Prima Ballerina by SupremeDreamer 15 Jul 2003, 7:31 AM

for some reason I feel like it needs some tweaking. But, I like the visuals. sharp!

SupremeDreamer on Death In The Cherry Brook Nursing Home by scitz 15 Jul 2003, 7:28 AM

bastard is the term i use for this particular type of person.. because its a dead man walking like a ghost, im not trying to be an ass ;/

horus8 on walking by Rodavlas 15 Jul 2003, 7:25 AM

crawling.

richa on Death In The Cherry Brook Nursing Home by scitz 15 Jul 2003, 7:22 AM

Sid isn't a bastard, bereft of innocence and idealism he has embraced pragmatism. This happens in old age. oh yeh and poem is good too

SupremeDreamer on Death In The Cherry Brook Nursing Home by scitz 15 Jul 2003, 6:43 AM

Sid is such a bastard. 8 shall be thy blessing.

Christof on Igor's inspiration by zzinnia66 15 Jul 2003, 6:15 AM

I have to say, without the background info I was a bit baffled, but the last line rocks - a reference to their seemingly impossible flight?

SupremeDreamer replying on Memoirs of a Monk - St. Screamer by SupremeDreamer 15 Jul 2003, 6:15 AM

Hows this rewrite?

Christof on Acoustic by zzinnia66 15 Jul 2003, 6:13 AM

Guitar technicalities made poetry - I like it. Perfectly condensed.

INTRANSIT on Igor's inspiration by zzinnia66 15 Jul 2003, 5:44 AM

Hey Z! Glad you're ok! Did you see yourself when you wrote this? You should have. Sorry to hear Africa wasn't quite. But you went! Kudos! Now why this isn't getting better scores is beyond me. Even without the helicopter info, it's all there. Gotta run. Kisses! kisses!

richa replying on Memoirs of a Monk - St. Screamer by SupremeDreamer 15 Jul 2003, 5:08 AM

I think it is important to continue the image through the poem, then the poem makes sense before the meaning is grasped. Bringing jesus in in the third verse seems to turn this poem upside down. I guess maybe more religeous image allusions like in the first two (the wine/broken tablet)

Lifeboatman on MotherF*ckers Who Fuck Above/Two Story Apartment by JoyLuck 15 Jul 2003, 4:54 AM

Sheer genius, 10

SupremeDreamer replying on Memoirs of a Monk - St. Screamer by SupremeDreamer 15 Jul 2003, 4:21 AM

hrmm.. i thought the end was pretty clear.. damn it ;/ any good suggestions my good friend? Thanks for your vote/comment, always welcomed.

OnTheOtherHand replying on The War and Dance of The Undertaker by OnTheOtherHand 15 Jul 2003, 3:49 AM

Thanks. I hope you'll read it after I edit it :D

richa on The War and Dance of The Undertaker by OnTheOtherHand 15 Jul 2003, 3:47 AM

some nice lines 'pension for your chore' etc but rather a lot of plain narrative to tell the story. Much to commend though

richa on Memoirs of a Monk - St. Screamer by SupremeDreamer 15 Jul 2003, 3:44 AM

quite like the occult/religeous wordlplay. The end seems a bit obscure to me though overall good

richa on thought & memory by Bill Z Bub 15 Jul 2003, 3:42 AM

nice fast flow and good word selection. I prefer verses 2 and three, the first uses surfaces that appear quite decadent

DreamerSupreme replying on The War and Dance of The Undertaker by OnTheOtherHand 15 Jul 2003, 3:18 AM

No Problem. Check out me latest sword carvings: Memoirs of a Monk - St. Screamer Aluminum Xena - Prima Ballerina and bless me with your suggestions/comments/votes/ or death threats. ;D

OnTheOtherHand replying on The War and Dance of The Undertaker by OnTheOtherHand 15 Jul 2003, 3:11 AM

Yeah it's just a quick draft. I'm going to get some rest then run a spell check and redraft. Thanks. :)