DreamerSupreme
on The War and Dance of The Undertaker by OnTheOtherHand
15 Jul 2003, 3:08 AM
"Your own body slowly tearing down every defence."
Defense.
Like the theme, but the dance bit seems over done, plus this needs a face lift. it doesn't make me feet shuffle in quick irish foot taps.. blessed with 7
Amen, Amen... thou art blessed with 10.
Bravo! 10
Blessed with 9.
Solid piece. 8.
this is the ttle of a bob dylan song.
what do youwant from us, when you give less than we expect? the naming is everything.
nut sack, hind foot--it's all pink and fated, to me.
BILL!! do not tickle these deities!! the are violent, and virulent.
drop the great; embrace the mundane. you will love me for it.
x, z
Very effective write, its peacefullness conveyed excellently.
Well written piece, great talent.
necessity
This tickles the little hampster running on a wheel in my brain's nut sack. -10-
Well done. -8-
nice.. it's easy to see its beauty in its simplicity.. <8>
Here is my rewrite
When I was born,
a child only dreamed of,
mearly a lust that couldn't be filled,
that dream was forgotten when I was brought into this world
I was loved before and even more after I was born, Again
abyss-like. (deep)
Six-stepped--a 2 step, as performed by bees. :) The meter is uneven on purpose. should give the weaving feeling of a bee in flight.
Folklore is that Igor Sikorsky was inspired to invent the helicopter by watching a bumble bee (_Bombus americanus_, plural, _Bombi_). For the longest time, it was thought to be scientifically impossible for bumblebees to fly, given their mass and energy consumption. It's all about the lift, really.
Again, perplexingly obscure reference, for the literati and the geeks here on the ranker. And, of course, for the gardeners cum entymologists among us.