nentwined
replying on Acoustic by zzinnia66
14 Jul 2003, 2:03 PM
:heh: I see. Yes, yes you do. :)
there are many blues-the music kind (blind willie, etc.), the sad kind, the balls kind, the stage light kind.
the coil/wind thing is about about a Gibson P-90 (pickup, for and amp: http://www.harmony-central.com/Guitar/Da
? :) definitely a mindtwister for me. I can't find the rhythm (is stepped one or two syllables in your reading? (not that I can find it either way, but I'm curious as to the "tone" there))
la la la! :)
does six-stepped mean something?
ooh. What's a Bombi? (I read that as Bambi at least 7 times. it now makes less sense but in a clearer way (I couldn't figure out where a deer was coming from).
la la la. :)
Thanx for the comment and the 8. If you read A BRAND NEW EYE you will understand why it must be vague. Only, I wish that some one would take the stab to deciphering it. I want to know if my abstractions can be translated. Ultimately, if they can't then I have failed and must try again.
I've taken no offence. In fact I've come here for education and don't intend to spurn your help. "Molten arcs" is fantastic by the way and I'm presently working on a poem using arc as an electric/emotional term. Now I have to one-up you on the "molten".
From the Ma Joad tradition of poetry. The cliches, similarity to your other poems, misuse of "your", and reluctance to respect God by capitalizing his name add up to a big honking 1.
Drab. Very Drab.
Vague poem, I like the second line alot. -8-
I like the last stanza -'mundane hours by the bushel' is great - this is unusually abstract and philosophical (but given stanza 2 maybe that's the point) - very interesting
Thank you for your comments on my poems. You're very kind and I'm glad you liked them 'cos they were the last flwoering of a creative spurt that's dried up a bit - I'm hoping more will come. If some damn fool publisher ever decides to make a book of mine, I'll send you a copy. Don't hold your breath though...
third verse is the best, a pleasant read
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I think that was the effect you were going for
kind of soothing
lucid, but a bit saccharin and I cringed imagining you saying it to someone
not bad though
lots of non-sequitors on poemranker like 'give you my breath' the follow up about 'take it at midnight' made my day.
Good poem, tight
yes nicely put together
a blip of emotion..extend.