thepinkbunnyofdoom
replying on Gods Gift of Love by mckenzie
23 Mar 2003, 8:35 PM
I never said that D.A. had a genitalia.
A third party implys someone who can't express a bias. It therefore excludes YOU! Seeing as to how you have never been kind to either of us that makes you bias against the both of us. Two negative bias are still a bias in one direction. You declared me defeated but you already have preconcieved notions about the both of us, so NO.
P.S. What would you have me suck? I know that I would probably refuse on some sort of moral grounds but I must say that I do wonder.
P.S.S. What happened to me me arguing with D.A.?
you forgot the H2O purification tanks!!! damn it! why would anyone hole up with you?!!!
you're an athlete, not a survivor!
you know exactly what they mean!!!!
luv2write, please check out codependents anonymous. 12 steps never worked for me, but, what the hell, most people seem to get off on being addicted to something. and 'those rooms' are full of people who will listen with open ears as you spilll this sort of thing. honestly, where is your sense of self? do you really think like this?
oh, wait, i get it, it's a satire, and you're making fun of 12 steppers!!! in that case, schwing!!!!
1. i have never been kind to -=Dark_Angel=-
2. i have never been kind to you
3. therefore, you are equals on the ranker
4. you stated,"P.S. If I was in checkmate in a game of words I'd have to admit defeat or a third party would have to decare me defeated. Seeing as that hasn't happened(cause much as it may be hard for you to belive) I haven't been defeated."
5. i am not -=Dark_Angel=-; i haven't the genitalia for it, nor the propensity for bums he has.
6. i am not you
7. therefore, i am a third party, and by your own admission in #4, above, that makes you defeated if i declare it.
8. suck it!!!!!!
9. hahahahahaha!!!!!!!
10. no, wait: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!1
well, what a nice little can of worms you have here.
it's bitter withour being brutal; it uses a cliche here and there, but upends them.
but, somehow, i wanted you to act. you're still a victim, in this piece. stab, or walk, or something!
returning is no panacea: the poem, it dies.
Rich. Just rich. Unfortunately You have no authority to inforce your declaration! So sadly no I won't consent defeat(not to mention that you are not an impartial party, seeing as to how you have made comments to me at least, And thus have some background history with one of the debators, and can express a bias either for myself or D.A. <it also doesn't help that I think that you and D.A. are the same person>).
P.S. I wouldn't say soiled. More like dug up and put to proper use, then returned to nature.
Considering W. Owen was a young poet who wrote of his experience in actual trenches where WMD were prevalent in the form of various gases and the like I would dare say, nope, not me. If you had any ability for skilled analysis you would realize this poem really has little to do with actual war and much less to do with actual "battlefield" combat of any sort, especially the kind described in Mr. Owens work. It is not any sort of vain attempt at what you might think is a protest poem or a "war poem" related to the current situation going on in the Middle East. You are wrong in that regard. It would not be a vain attempt at creating a protest poem because it is not one. I suppose you could say it is a vain attempt at creating satire, but hey, what the heck. And another thing: hahahahahahahaha.
You must have met some special people in your life... Keep writing about them. It's interesting to read your work. Great job. Keep adding.
Im not trying to stereotype I just see this kinda stuff all the time, what do you think was going through the kids minds at Colubine, probably this kinda freeky wierd stuff, so for you to make somthing deranged as this makes me wonder whats going on in your life. Even if its a joke its not funny.
It is weak because you start with a rather decent line and create a set up for an extended metaphor that might be rather effective, but you lose it quickly with a ambiguous second line, which I would cut and make the third line the second line, which extends the metaphor in better fashion. Also the problem with the silence line is 1) a cliche and 2) confusing because in reality when the image is brought to life it makes no sense. Also, who are "they"? And what are you going for with the white carpet: innocence, purity, pre-lapsarian language. And considering the poem has to do with words and the tongue is an extended metaphor for that, the last line trips the reader. I think you have a nice idea and with some thought, you could express the concept better utilizing solid imagery within the framework of the original metaphor. Good luck.
no need for apologies - any desire to offer reasons for why it is bad?
oh dear. it really does seem that no one understands the poem. listen sweetness, i'm not a tormented child, nor am i on the brink of insanity. i simply like my poetry a bit more .. daring. i don't particularly care for slipknot or marilyn manson, sorry for not following your little sterotypes. the line 'they just laughed' wasn't referring to "jocks" or "pretty girls". it referred to my friends - they would see such an act as something funny - as would i. so please before you make an attempt to analyze me and my poetry - get a grip - not all 'weird' poetry is written by a manic depressive 'freak'.
Can you really hear silence? I believe there is a point in complete quiet where the ears can actually feel pain because they are trying so hard to hear something. Anyway, besides that I find the poem quite bad. Sorry. Have a nice day.
Please tell me you are not that dense.
Ok, Im not. I meant what, not who. Typo on my part. But after reading your response I understand.
Is this about a pig?
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Who gave this a 10? This sounds like some kind of Manson song, I would have taken it as a plea for help from a tormented child until the last line "Now I'm pretty" it just creeped me out, it appears that years of abuse have pushed you to the edge of sanity, I just can't help thinking of Slipknot or whatever those bands are that sing of self mutilation and depravity. Bands I am sure you idolize and hold in high regard. Wake up. The way you are now is not because some jock beat you up or the pretty girls giggle at you, it is because you let them, the only person to blame for your depression is yourself. The second you let them get to you, the second you give up is where you are to blame. All my life people have told me I?m not good enough, It makes me stronger, that is what I feed off of. The more people say Ill never amount is what pushes me further. Some good advice, no matter how crappy your surroundings become don?t give up, do not let them get to you.