poetandknowit
on Looks like war, but tastes like chicken by Jeremi B. Handrinos
16 Mar 2003, 7:22 PM
Pretty funny stuff. Inspired by the girlfriend's job no doubt.
The piece of writing is by no mean deep nor requires much in the way of thought. It says nothing profound and is merely for a good laugh.
excellent ending line in 1. much more satisfying.
2 works better without the punctuation. good call.
3 has amused me.
God's test? lol. better bring a number two pencil. People think the strangest things i swears. God's test? ah... i take it that it's... multiple choice with an essay at the end for enlightenment? does he or she offer re-testing for those of us hungover or cripples that missed the bus? what about children under the age of ten that die naturally do they get a chance to understand your's and god's testing methods? What a crock of shit.
Choice cuts.
"The vail is lifted " veil.
GQT Awarde.
hahahaha i dont gettit oh well 10 since i give all ur work 10 coz its good
bit random stamp deary - its all a bit hopeless nowadays huh?
yes he is, horus. dee-lite.
mad skillz, good sir. they still crack my shit up on the re-read.
I think you misunderstand the concept of a haiku, thay are meant to be short. The point or purpose is there for you to see but you are missing the point so many others have comprehended.
1) Romans laughing ( as they did in the childrens bible at christs sufferance on the cross.
2) Wine saturates holy bread = wine is blood bread is body of christ, blood pours from christs wounds.
3) juas eats supper as christ is dying, that is the irony judas eats supper again after the last supper, the traitor consumes his saviour.
Patience is required when perusing a haiku, it is not in design meant to be an instant fix ofunderstanding, this has a meaning if you look for it.
just for you, yes.
do you mind sharing the spotlight? a little?
too short and no point or purpose, im not quite sure how this got on the top 15 list, prolly because the users would rather sit around and trash other peoples stuff than write their own stuff
Dude... THey make the counting crows look like the carpenters.
one sentence is less then five, that's okay? i checked. unless you care to debate.
A couple are out on the syllable count but hey. I am another who doesn't get the White Stripes. Are they good or are they shit? Counting Crows are good...
I like it.
Needs less of the images and more elaboration on the ones you keep. Try keeping it simpler-less 'varied' but with more realistic ideas. My earlier poems are like this but I've learnt from them-you could do the same.
I also think you should write a poem called 'Limbs', damn fine idea Horus old boy.