Ranger
replying on Fate by Dostoyevsky
15 Mar 2003, 2:29 PM
Ha ha ha!
Did I not say before that "Loosing" should be "Losing"? Not to worry.
I still don't like the 1st 2 lines, they still need something less frequently used. Perhaps:
"Thoughts sliding down onto the floor
From a mind which reamins so unsure"
Keep working on it and it'll get there in the end. Why delete all the previous comments? Keep them to remind you of the progress you make (it also makes people really impressed when you've got loads of comments and they'll look at your poem and leave their own comment).
Anyway, I've given you my thoughts on yours, now give me yours on mine ya selfish bastard.
I love you all.
You may have a 9 zzinnia
Hard as a smock?
Don't confuse a narcissistic poop fetish while polishing one's wheel chair spokes and maintaining an appropriate blood sugar level with snobbery spank me, Jesus has very little to do with it.
Even funnier, but the Ghost's of Mars? was a horrible movie, just a complete waste of my last hamster cannon.
ha ha. someone blue three'd this. shame. i'll give it a 7. some were quite amusing regardless of the fact that you're not really.
hoax.
what do you want from me? it's not how it used to be. You've taken my life away, you're ruining everything etc.
I LIKE THIS, YOU MAKE SNOBBERY AN ARTFORM 7
I think you are missing a part of poetry, and that is the fact that each person should take their own interpretation of it. If every image in a poem or novel were to be laid out and described in detail at every portion of the book/poem, there would never be any room for interpreting it in different ways. Stolen spoils--could be my youth, could be the life of your mother--it is all in your eyes. A postcard from my sixth grade science class or maybe from your church camp--it's open to the reader's mind. Spelling everything out would take away from flexibility and relatability of the poem. Do you understand now?
This is pretty fine, nice touches in this like lines 4/6/7/8, after the needle in the eye a reference to blindness would be cool, think of a metaphor about manipulation or something, eyes are so so vulnerable and so much can be said about them, they see they cry, they puncture, they close, open, roll, go red, grey white fuck me gimme gimme gimme that killer line
The end of S2 And all of S3 is ethereal but the 'stuff' is frustrating what is the stuff? is it relevant? i felt denied not knowing. Otherwise with a bit of chinking this could shine like an ice sculpture. 7
It reminds me of the Egpytian ghost train in Chessington World of Adventure.
I was going to leave a sarcastic comment about the gibbon simile, but I've "altered my consciousness" and it seems really scary.
You answered your own question. They just want to be friends. Sucks don't it?
Well, for starters:
First outlined by Heraclitus, enantiodromic change is the principle which governs all cycles of natural life, from the smallest to the greatest and means that eventually everything turns into its opposite.
In Jungian terms, the inherent workings of enantiodromia within our psyche continually lead us to accessing and integrating our shadow. Jung writes:
Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. It forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions.
Jesus, how do you people go about writing about images and then never revealing even one? A picture show? What picture show? Stolen spiols? what stolen spoils? Where!? People & places? What people? What places? A postcard from where????????!!!!!!! what the fuck all are you talking about?
you write these poems strictly for yourself. This is completely inaccessable. Think about the audience. Tell them the story.
Oh me oh my. What is it your trying to say?