I like the September 11th interpretation (and it does fit, the stairwells and corridors and stuff), but I actually wrote this poem long before that - according to Word, February 2001. This highlights an important fact about literature - while it is perfectly acceptable to read your own experience into a poem, this can never be taken as representative of the author's intention. I'm afraid Jeremi, you've committed the intentionalist fallacy. Maybe I just had some kind of freaky premonition.

She's 52, she looks like a raisin and her name is Ambyr Nyghtfyre.

Mere coincidence my dear. My dislike of Crowe has nothing to do with you. You just happened to bring up the name. How could I be possesive of you? I don't know you. I don't know your name or what you look like or how old you are... Just that you write divinely, and are very insightful. Thats it. It's four AM over here. I need to go to sleep. zzzzzzzzzzzzz

That sounds like a great idea!!!!1

Tell me Billy-boy, why is it every other reply I get from you contains the word 'jealous'? What exactly makes you jealous? That I'm contemplating other men besides you? Are you becoming possessive? You puzzle me.

He posted after I did, actually. Ought I to have called the poem "A reply to tonight's mood: Dedicated to He Whom I Have Not?" I'll gladly change the title for you, if you wish. :)

Point? to make you think. Acid? do you mean Ergot? Pureed or blended? You should ask yourselve how you have gotten this far knowing so little.

honestly, it's very hard to come up with constructive criticism. Not because it's the worst poem ever written, but because... it's like all the worst poems ever written, to a degree. I've probably written more poems than anyone else ever wanted me to in this vein, and... somehow, over time, my writing changed. It may not be any better, but I manage to fail in more unique ways now, I hope. The theme you present, "ode to my lost soul" a.k.a. "I'm bleeding my heart out, dammit, and it's messy", is very difficult to do anything with. Actually, a thought -- I'm sure it's been done, but it might be interesting: how about varying your pleas for help with your "other's" responses. or even, pretend they're writing some sort of poem about you; probably not in the same vein, but... get in their head and give us a more developed picture of the situation. So beyond that (and it's really hard to get beyond that, so this advice is likely less helpful than it could be) -- the rhythm/cadence/flow of the poem stumbles. Try getting a friend to read it out loud -- wherever it sounds wrong to you when they read it, work on it. Poetry isn't just about linebreaks and occasional sing-songiness (it can be, but you should REALLY know what you're doing in that case, and still most folks (probably including me) won't appreciate it). And lastly (but not least... ly?) -- the poem is "fluffy". The statements are, for a poem, relatively vague and not indicative of any sort of strong imagery; there's nothing that makes me want to connect, and there's nothing that forces me to connect.

It's about Alchemy. Western magical tradition. Nothing personal about it. In fact, it's a little impersonal.

your kindness knows no bounds. thanks for the constructive criticism though.