Ranger
on Abused by scitz
25 Jan 2003, 9:00 AM
I think that the end should be different, stronger somehow. The last two lines don't really do the poem justice-otherwise I like this one too. 9
PS 'Masquerades an awful truth' is brilliant!
I love it!
glraorble
Odds are if you've gotten this far past the poem, you too, are an idiot..i myself am going to go out on a limb here and say that i am THE KING OF THE IDIOTS!!!!!!!!<but alas the hall is empty, and only a sole cricket is heard farting on the second tier, i have been fearfully..abandoned...yes..abandoned once again, but seriously wounded 'this' time in my hearte and sole...well, only one thing to do now YES..RIGHT POETRY ABOUT IT ALL AND HEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!let the healing begin, amen..let the healing begin..aye men[you have to be hearing the marching band by this time right?]]
tremendous.
I demand that you tell me immediately who told you about the pirgayte LeChoadke? DAMN IT MAN...SPEAK! you obviously are trained at the art of poetry! and should be forced to dance 'the prawne shuffle'. _e_t_e bastard! i know that's you come out..ye..plagiarist..you stole my lyr....... cockeyed vandal.
Thanks,
Here is the edited version
Masking Wyverns
Watch me slave at words I could never say
Monsoon shark god furious
The love of my father, she snaked away
Wind swept waves bled 'til Sunday
It?s a shame I am that curious
Watch me slave at words I could never say
Fierce night howls paved the way
And the way it was deleterious
The love of my father, she snaked away
Children raced past our well-lit display
An unintentional metamorphosis
Watch me slave at words I could never say
A raven-haired woman asked, "was I okay?"
Lips crimson and voluptuous
The love of my father, she snaked away
A god of wind, a shark at play
Your past is not mysterious
Watch me slave at words I could never say
The love of my father, she snaked away.
because i know how you are about spelling
I'm not even going to go into how i visualised this finely crafted poeme.
This must be the part where you earn fame and glory in the name of your stance against it (?) brilliant and the rhyme scheme..very og...that's the first thing that should change in te re-education of this country...and that's choosing teams in school..what a terrible thing to do to a child's mind..tsk.
Your turn...IN THE NAME OF GOD..I REBUKE YOU, CAST YOU PUT EVIL DEMON!
by the way..what play was it?
ummmm this poem made me feel very alive and wholesome.
ummm haha(?)
Ding dong the witch is dead.
This is totally unacceptable and also, shit.
Great job, simple but effective and original.
Here's a tongue-twister for ya:
Sven said "Ted,
send ten tents".
Ted said "Sven,
send ten cents".
When Sven sent
Ted ten cents,
Ted sent Sven
ten cent tents.
Try to say that one even once, I dares ya.
Neat-O, amusing, different, and worthy. Here's a nine, for the sake of the signs in Morse code.
a burning sensation in the thigh region? You should see a doctor.
seriously though, not bad
so far.
chew it until thawed at work.
Trees with beards - pure genius! A tree with a beard CALLED Treebeard - fuckin' fantastic! Ents rock (or rather bark I guess, although people might get befuddled by the dog connotations...)!
Funny