Bill Z Bub
on 3.85g by Crakyamuni
25 Jan 2003, 7:08 PM
liked the first two stanzas, but the second half lost me.
Since I've discovered this site, I've been writing like mad. I've been throwing up the stuff I see potential in to see what others think. Eventually I'll pare them down to the essentials, like I have with some.
Or I'll just toss them and start over. I think I may start writing prose.
lol, it's great, if i could vote better then a 10 i would, lol :)
Since i am not from America your cack-wagon insult is lost on me im very sorry. isnt is time for you to go to bed anyway?
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
replying on me, Deep-as-a-puddle and the elusive connection by lunar
25 Jan 2003, 1:49 PM
Really? I hadn't thought about it like that. Cack-Wagon.
Now you are just re-enforcing my point.
lovely, painful...9
you need to work on your spelling...and maybe reorganize it a little so its easier to read..everything just seems to blur together the way it is now...3
haha i love that. thats great!!...10 all the way
"I love you alone." thats great, i like that...6
i love the "breathes length into the day" interesting image..6
thats fucked up man
forseen is one word
the rhyme scheme seems kind of forced...and then it doesnt match a real rhythm of any kind....4
You are the unfortunate victim of great looks, great energy, and an intriguing mind. Everybody wants you, it's true, and you have no boundries. You are a PRIEST you just refuse to take your place at the altar. it's so very hard to say no, there's no fun in it. Time to post a poem for you.
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
replying on me, Deep-as-a-puddle and the elusive connection by lunar
25 Jan 2003, 11:15 AM
Well you're extra-wrong!! DOUBLE-GUTTED TO THE MAX!!!!11
Oh how wonderfully beautiful- you are certainly a genius-at least in the art of describing cutlery-if not life itself.
Dark angel i now believe you completly are 14 and from America since no other type of people say "gutted to the max"
Whert?
Good stuff. Worth a nine now.