INTRANSIT
on Someone please say no. by suzanna
5 Jan 2003, 7:48 AM
What is normal? Great Idea, too plain. add color.
No you will have only begun.
And we're puttin it on wax!! It's the new syle!!! 4and 3and 2 and 1......
this is a nice poem and i can relate to it. however, the last need to read like this...because i think they're broken!
Quarton
replying on I have reinvented the haiku and made it my own, becoming the world's first haiku gangsta in the process so you all had better just get it over with and give this 'ku a big fat TEN? by bondjedi
5 Jan 2003, 6:01 AM
So you reinvented the Haiku? Trashed would
be closer to fact. At least you are limiting
yourself to three lines.
Pathetic!
Judging by the brilliance of your reply, I
doubt you even know who he is or what is
meant by Cartesian reality. Not my fault and
perhaps you should go back to reading what
you can understand, like nursery rhymes.
Was that an attempt to be witty?
zzinnia, I don't care about helpful comments. Thats great. If you think you can help thats fine. What I said was that people like D.A. and PAKI are being all high and mighty and saying it's shit without even reading it sometimes, and not leaving suggestions. The fact remains, they try to show they are great by screwing other people around.
How about, 'Flatulance.'
good poem.
its almost like something that i would write.
there's a good twist to this
quite good. good title. that's all i can say.
good for a start. but something's lacking thou...
Not the beer.
well Im off to the bar. Ill have a couple of shots for you.
thanks
this is good, but are you fuckin getting lippy? have a 9 for both lips.
ironside....ironside....
I loved this. A bit uh, a bit over the top in places but the freshness of the material more than makes up for it.
Unique. 8.
...and?? This could be a lot more. Why is it interesting? Because it seems interesting. Find out why and rewrite it.