poetandknowit
on The Washing by strider1
4 Nov 2002, 9:35 PM
"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." Eh. Did you get a boner letting my words flow around in your head and blood and while your fingers typed them out onto the screen. I bet you did, boy, I bet you did.
"When the sticky pink cotton dress
Gets stuck between your thighs" -- Excellent visual and rhythmic line, but the last two lines do not match it and the poem loses me a bit. After you nail something like that, a major league line, I expect the whole poem to follow. But a nice draft all the same.
thank you. i appreciate your comments and look forward to seeing more from you. By the way..are you locale?
as it is even slightly interesting....it does matter. everything matters and has a weight or etheral throw in our existence even if you think it doesn't or shouldn't. grendal? how should i know the difference as I still and alwayws hold you high upon my shelf...next to the green sea glass and beautiful broken bottles found along the tide line - before their taken back. You; stand tall and take it easy on the winded. They've already had their time...to be upon their knees...yielding to you before them.
Bachus
replying on Ten solid facts about -=Dark Angel=-, by his biggest palm frond, me. by horus8
4 Nov 2002, 6:44 PM
in all actuallity he's been taking pot shot's since day one...i'm just stretching a bit philisophically...this is in response to his last comment on horus's poem jerk circle...i was just selling a few balance bars on the way to the colliseum, adieu.t
why did he do that? haas he been holding it, or did joey just make him laugh until he crapped his pants? i have to go play at the crooked bar right now....i'll talk to you later though. thanks for keeping an eye on him while his moms at work..later.m
brilliant, both poem and god's wife's reply. would love to eat at your homes with my kids.
wow, the treacle is making me vomit
congratulations
daniella
on Ten solid facts about -=Dark Angel=-, by his biggest palm frond, me. by horus8
4 Nov 2002, 6:35 PM
poetry wars have begun and i do believe horus has taken the first shot.
erm ... I would edit the spelling
Your son just pissed & poo'd all over my living room floor. Joey is tending to him. In the bath with bubbles. Joey is a doll. Thanks for creating the opportunity for my son to practice being a gentle soul. He is at the moment singing blues clues and scrubbing the toddler free of stinky residue. It could save the world.
something tells me that you wouldn't know a ganglia from a box of girlscout cookies. try again.a
You must be a masochist. I hate you/I love you/ I hate you/I love you. You could be a saddist. In which case touche! You have caused me incalculable nausea.
Redundant and repetitive. Every line echoes every other line. I think what I'm trying to say is your poem contains a succession of monotonous recapitulations.
Wonderful. The last stanza is as lovely an evocation of the sun as I have ever read. Please find a title for this. L4-S1, is slightly confusing to me, I assume you are speaking of distant stars, but can't quite make the connection. Is this 'she' you refer to the moon?
god'swife
on Ten solid facts about -=Dark Angel=-, by his biggest palm frond, me. by horus8
4 Nov 2002, 3:06 PM
Better then I ever could have imagined. More please.
I don't understand the title. Nothing here seems to be fading. Read your other 2, and I get the feeling your not jumping in. Just wandering around the perimeter. This is the strongest and most invested of the 3. I especially can relate to the last 2 lines, but somehow the last line feels overly dramatic in a cheesy sort of way.
i'll think about it. although, why you'd want to strip the scent is beyond me.