you did what? Horus8 and then...huh? Just say it is a goof poem.

Hi, Glad you liked it, the story came from New Scientist, which I get months behind time, I can go check out the exact issue if you wish, I put them in my school after I have read them. Line 5 should be women not woman The murders should be Their murderers its amazing the mistakes that a spell checker doesn't pick up.

i don't say it "{every fucking line) there are 39 lines and out of those 39, 9 lines have teeter totter playgroud. and it's a fucking song and that happens to be the return phrase you ball busting recluse. don't you have a turd or a puddle of pee or a missing face to study somewhere?

Dead shape is there for a reason, and in your critique, you have pointed out exactly part of the poem's intentions. So, think on it some more. Mr. Magpie, you have valid points and I am working through them. thanks.

he smelled--of bum.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be in heaven. Instead of looking at other people's work and being crude and judgemental, you should think about your own language. You prefer to use "big words" to make your work more appealing. I don't. I get to the point. I do it sweet and simple for a more simplistic target audience. We don't live in a world of genius' which is obvious from reading your posts. Poem ranker is not a place for you to vent your anger towards other people. If you would like to send constructive criticism, consider what you're reading. Think about who these works are geared towards and that not everyone is like you. You probably do approve of racism. You obviously aren't intelligent enough to put actual corrections or suggestions with regard to any of my work so you babble about subject matter that isn't original. Like being dark and deep is so original. I apologize, I'm only human. I can never be the next Marilyn Manson fan who sits behind my computer wearing black lipstick and writing pointless commentaries on the internet. By the way, "f** me!" I think you should go f** yourself or get a book on modern English compositions. Then let me know what you think. While you're at it, read up on marketing.

maybe some wrank teenager will read it and like it. maybe some crusty depressed person will read this and have no actual criticism to make on other people's work so he or she will just write bitter angry comments. I'm not offended by criticism, I beg for it,but make it constructive not malicious. Dark Angel? Angel of Death? Maybe you should off yourself!