god'swife
replying on the truth about poets by New Life Drug
10 Oct 2002, 11:22 PM
I don't believe you. Prove it.
This is entitled first words, yet it seems like the end of something.
I like version one a tad better, (i say the first is always best because its raw, and meaningful) but this one i like because you've added lines filled with description, which is good, but the atmosphere has dissolved. I especially like the last section and of that "where the blue of her eyes meets gold flowing in every direction such beuty awaits before me still all i see is the ground" very lovely
I can relate..
Sometimes to make an impact, you've got to include graphic nature. Besides that, thanks for liking this. I like it as well.
Yes I am really 13.
I'll ask the Lord to send you more shit and AIDS. Now go make your mother proud. By the way, what's bukkake?
Yes...well, there actually weren't any outraged commenteers. poetandknowit was being ironic.
Pray for me, benevolent one. I'm a nasty flailing sauce-merchant.
Wow!! I didn't know the best way to express vague righteous anger was to write adolescent poetry and amateur psychoanalysis! "A well brimming with self-pity". Are you sure you wrote that? I could've sworn my 14-year-old sister won some sort of poetry contest for that the other day. More to the point, how is it you have such expert knowledge of the sniper's motivation? You seem to forget that not everyone in the world is such a beautiful tortured soul as you.
Let me get this straight: a) the sniper think's he's safe, b) the sniper knows he isn't safe, c) killing people from a distance is cowardly (as opposed to gutting them on a street corner, which is extraordinarily brave)? Well strike me down if you don't win the Pseudo-Insightful BS Award 2002! Congrats!! 10!!!
P.S. I hate to tell you this, but justice is what allegedly happens to people *after* they're found.
No worries, justice finds a way. When it started last week, some people immediately jumped to "Arab terrorist", just like they did with the Oklahoma City bombing. Methinks, like with that event, this is one of our own homegrown wackadoos. NRA bumper stickered, military or police experienced, white anglo saxon protestant fucked up guy.
Are you really 13?
I'm so sorry Frass, it's surreal isn't it. Everythngs going to be o.k. I mean geez Death waits around every corner, but things have got to be insane over there right now. I was praying for you today. didn't know it was you personally, but I was praying for you. The thing is, your going to walk out of this with a keener appreciation. 7 out of 9. 7 out of 9.
Very strong, Christof. Zzin informed me you hit number 1 on p'ranker; good for you. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. But, we're hot on your heals.
Thanks, yes, I usually rewrite poetry 83 times that I first wrote years ago, then post it; but, I've been influenced by some of ya'll posting freshly written poetry and since the gas station where Dean was shot is 8 minutes from my house, and I've bought gas at the very pump where Dean met his maker, I just thought I'd throw something together. As the Clash sang "I fought the law, and the law won"....they're gonna get the sorry sumbitch who's doing all this shooting. 7 deaths from 9 shots in 7 days.
brillant...this just proves that no matter where I go online anymore I'll be face to face with porn. :::sigh::: oh well, back to making my porn page.
wow..this starts strong then rapidly falls appart. simply because crows don't listen very well. because they are birds. with small brains. bird brainse
Revolting, but in a good way. Why does porn make me queasy? Should there be parenthesis' around L2 in the 1st Haiku?
Well, someones been doing their exercises. I love the way this piece looks, and also "pumping gas in Manassas" the last lines at the end of S1 & S2 should be eliminated. Lines 3,4, & 5 in S2 need tiobe re-worked slightly. S3 needs to be re-worked. Sounds like a hurried after-thought.
christof, you are honed razor sharp these days. i bled, reading this.