Poemranker [most recent comments (62761-62780) and replies]

god'swife on Temptation Stings, Midday Nashville by <~> 10 Oct 2002, 7:46 AM

I can always count on you to make things interesting. You communicate emotion through concrete images, my favorite.

god'swife on Daywalker by Blade 10 Oct 2002, 7:39 AM

Typo last line.

Christof replying on The Thought Of It by Christof 10 Oct 2002, 7:36 AM

I'm not sure if this is an English/American thing, because to my ear the cadence works fine. I could change it to 'planning' or 'imagining' but then again that might lead your mind forward. Perhaps reinstating the question mark will cement the different clauses more effectively. Let's give it a go.

god'swife replying on The Thought Of It by Christof 10 Oct 2002, 7:34 AM

the question mark is a good idea.

god'swife on The Thought Of It by Christof 10 Oct 2002, 7:32 AM

"We were thinking of" you end the line on a preposition, and I my mind expects a new thought afterward.

Christof replying on The Thought Of It by Christof 10 Oct 2002, 7:27 AM

Originally I had a question mark at the end of line 3 - would this make it easier? What is it you find confusing in these lines? You may be right about the lastline...

Christof replying on A Soldier's Promise by Ninoy_Instigator 10 Oct 2002, 7:24 AM

It's natural for man, all full of testosterone, to want to protect his woman in a caveman-stylee, but you also have to remember that the woman may have her own opinions and ways of doing things. Try and think of her as an equal, not a precious jewel to be guarded

god'swife on The Thought Of It by Christof 10 Oct 2002, 7:23 AM

lines 4,5, & 6 are confusing. The last image I believe would work better if you replaced 'Like' with 'All' the poor dear really is a prisoner.

<~> replying on A Soldier's Promise by Ninoy_Instigator 10 Oct 2002, 7:15 AM

to me, it seems like you have deemed her incapable of taking care of herself, or of making her own decisions.

Normo replying on MY LOVE FOR YOU by Normo 10 Oct 2002, 6:06 AM

You used a word i dont understand ;)

Normo replying on MY LOVE FOR YOU by Normo 10 Oct 2002, 6:06 AM

Fair enough

Normo replying on MY LOVE FOR YOU by Normo 10 Oct 2002, 6:05 AM

Thanks mate

Normo replying on Thunder by Normo 10 Oct 2002, 6:05 AM

Im sure it is

Normo replying on Reason for being late by Normo 10 Oct 2002, 6:04 AM

Er OK

Normo replying on Reason for being late by Normo 10 Oct 2002, 6:04 AM

Thanks for the comment :)

Blue Magpie on Wednesday's Breaking by poetandknowit 10 Oct 2002, 5:51 AM

Are you sure the alarm will disturb the bird song, or just your appreciation of, surely the birds will keep singing. The message is fine, but I think the 2nd stanza could do with some work, it is difficult to read presently.

-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. replying on Second Class? by lukehanney 10 Oct 2002, 5:34 AM

Actually, he is Ray Davies. Looks like you've got some apologising to do, Mr. Jones.

-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. on Ode to Nicholas Jones by lukehanney 10 Oct 2002, 5:32 AM

lukehanny, you are the win.

-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. on Daywalker by Blade 10 Oct 2002, 5:30 AM

No.

-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. on Hit & Run by horus8 10 Oct 2002, 5:29 AM

a ha ha ha. Cheers !!