on some deleted poem
24 Sep 2002, 5:21 AM
That last stanza does sound great. This is very musical.
on some deleted poem
25 Sep 2002, 1:42 AM
Well done. You are my leader. Lead on!
on glory bar realities by royalflesh
25 Sep 2002, 3:20 AM
This is a real progression from your last poem on this theme - smashing. Bleak though.
on The Masonic Underling & the 33 degree by horus8
25 Sep 2002, 3:39 AM
Baffled by Royalflesh's comment, but thinking this poem is great
on Regime Change by Nicholas Jones
25 Sep 2002, 3:44 AM
Did you hear hear Mr Blair banging on about 'regime change' on the news last night?
on Morning conflict by INTRANSIT
24 Sep 2002, 8:27 AM
I usually take against archaisms, but 'thy urn' works a treat. This is epic yet domestic. Ace.
on some deleted poem
24 Sep 2002, 8:42 AM
'skinny necks like dishrags' - that's brilliant.Only just noticed.
on At my grandmother's aging sight by vulcan
24 Sep 2002, 8:55 AM
Haven't I voted on this before? I like your relation of human age to geological time at the end and the general fear of being old.
on winter every day (Don't bother reading this) by unknown
24 Sep 2002, 7:54 AM
I wish I could lounge at the typewriter all day..some of us poor bastards have to work you know...you don't know how lucky you are...Well maybe you do. This is super. Top stuff.
on Triangle of the Courtyard Square by OneFingerAnswer
24 Sep 2002, 1:08 AM
This is certainly a tangle beyond my limited comprehension. Somehow the pronouns evoke this confusion, but I agree that it could be a bit clearer. Nonetheless, I like this, a slice of (thankfully for me) someone else's.
on some deleted poem
24 Sep 2002, 5:25 AM
I have to admit I've never seen bees doing that either, so I was a bit put off by the last line. Also the first line strikes me as too easily strange - I sort of gathered you're not a fish - or is this some kind of astrological reference I don't get? I am a dense boy, I'm sorry. The rest of this I love, especially the second stanza when the realization of the horrible truth brings down your love of sea and earth, but in the lightest way possible.
on Unveiled by aperfecttool77
24 Sep 2002, 7:27 AM
What an interesting discussion. I din't think it's impossible to write a poetry of internal discussion and bald statement as opposed to simile - GK CHesterton said that metaphor and simile were the antithesis of poetry, and the whole of Wordsworth's 15000 line 'Prelude' is a discussion with the self. However, it is difficult to write something so self-revealing and to make it really speak to others. It does require an absolutely iron grip on language.
on Summer Son by Frass
23 Sep 2002, 7:35 AM
This is great poem to come across-you rarely find anything so straightforwardly celebratory. You can't help but want to join in!
on "to do" list:accomplished by razorgrin
23 Sep 2002, 7:38 AM
This is either the 'to do' list of Slobodan Milosevic or my boss. Thank you for retrieving it.
on Here In The Heart of Amber by Lenore
23 Sep 2002, 6:22 AM
I like the suggestiveness of your imagery. There are so many possibilities for the mind to explore. I'm not so sure about the repeated refrain though.
on Punishment and Punishment again by vulcan
23 Sep 2002, 7:05 AM
Whatever happens, men die...