on Mean Matt was so mean, when a homeless guy asked him for change he gave him a -blank- by beakism
12 Sep 2002, 6:37 AM
I like poems that namecheck 'Blankety Blank'.
on some deleted poem
13 Sep 2002, 3:17 AM
'only your hands, your eys' - no heart? Maybe that is modern love?
on I have no Idea?...? by brazen
12 Sep 2002, 3:32 AM
I too am foozled. Super fine.
on A black sanded tropical vision by horus8
18 Sep 2002, 2:48 AM
This is my favourite of yours becuase that lost innocnence and the fracturing of the self that goes with it comes out so loud and clear. Your focus is much tighter than usual and the poem really benefits from it. This is great.
on some deleted poem
18 Sep 2002, 3:05 AM
England expects every man to do his duty....
on some deleted poem
18 Sep 2002, 3:33 AM
I disagree with your last two lines as well. I don't think every ear is tuned out, and don't believe that people fear poets of any kind - marginalise, maybe. And I don't know about the correlation of depression and poetry, I think it's a connection that can be made too facilely. But alomsot all poetry has a consciousness of death behind it somewhere (otherwise why write anything down at all?) and I think that is your mouse of truth for me.
on We visited the gay men on the veranda by Frass
13 Sep 2002, 1:16 AM
This is funny - I especially like your last couple of lines.
on Full Fathom Five by vulcan
13 Sep 2002, 3:21 AM
I like your turning to literature for comfort and finding some salvation there. 'gray Elegy' also brings to mind Thomas Gray's 'Elegy in a Country Churchyard' - is this deliberate?
on some deleted poem
13 Sep 2002, 5:33 AM
If you're writing a comic poem, you shouldn't have to put 'funny' in brackets after the title....
on some deleted poem
12 Sep 2002, 8:40 AM
Crikey. This is sex-o-matic. You are a saucy thing, this is too much for me on a Thursday afternoon. Take a look at my revised 'Gone Away' - zzinnia and I sussed out the ending earlier today.
on some deleted poem
12 Sep 2002, 6:50 AM
This is weird and wonderful
on some deleted poem
12 Sep 2002, 3:14 AM
Again you've got one really great stanza here - number three with the chaos theory butterflies, which is a great metaphor for certain Great Leaders as this time
on some deleted poem
12 Sep 2002, 3:36 AM
I think the last two lines are the best. I wouldn't worry about P&K's comment as I think you're telling a simple story simply and there's nothing wrong with that. I like the poise you have, not overdoing the language - 'You see' is a good distancing effect. But yeah, sort out those ??????s. And what's 'wier'?
on Billie's Threnody by Frass
12 Sep 2002, 3:46 AM
I like the last few lines of this but your attempt to suggestively evoke Lady Day through your list of epithets (especially 'mahler' - I don't know this word except as the name of the composer, is that what you mean by it? Please tell!) doesn't really work for me - reductive (esp. imbiber) rather than descriptive or empathetic.
on some deleted poem
13 Sep 2002, 5:33 AM
Why?
on Thank You Mom by savannah
12 Sep 2002, 3:52 AM
Yep, I think this is private rather than public poetry. Your Mum will love it. Just a little grammatical point - as you've put 'For though' in one line, you don't need the 'but' in the following line.
on The Politics of Fashion by bondjedi
18 Sep 2002, 2:43 AM
Witty - 'Dawson's Creek' should always be flipped from.
on some deleted poem
12 Sep 2002, 3:12 AM
I really like the first stanza, 'cos Blair is always standing up for something he hasn't the first idea about.
on a hero jfk by dylansong
12 Sep 2002, 3:08 AM
It's good to commermorate the man, but this is a bit idealised.... what about JFK's womanizing, the Bay of Pigs, the increased involvement in Vietnam? JFK has been turned into a saint so much that we forget that he was just a man.