on Sunset Cycle by Jsylum
23 Aug 2002, 4:19 AM
Is that a reference to Thomas Hardy an Matthew Arnold in the second verse? Because you seem to have bought into the whole Arnold 'scholar gipsy' gig - wandering beyond limits, looking at the failings of the world from afar etc. I think though that you need to cut down on the number of words used. This sounds very 19th century.
on Hey! Shut up, and cut my grass. by horus8
23 Aug 2002, 4:25 AM
The first part of this is truly great - the rest sort of tails off into your customary madness - but the metaphor of the lawn is bloody fantastic.
on Hey! Shut up, and cut my grass. by horus8
23 Aug 2002, 4:26 AM
Actually, not sure that it's a metaphor on another reading, but it's still fantastic.
on some deleted poem
23 Aug 2002, 1:52 AM
We gorgeous devils are awiting you words of pleasure and praise...in the meantime some other chap's ears must be burning. But I like the way you reflect back on Lady Macbeth - there is an element of culpability that mitigates the narrator's venom. The romatic longing of the last full stanza has a lovely muted hopefulness too.
on saving myself for marriage by Venus
23 Aug 2002, 2:08 AM
That's better - good and tumescent!
on Gilded Stumps of Olde (AN STORY THAT IS NOT AN POEME) by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
23 Aug 2002, 2:17 AM
This is fantastic, and no doubt historically accurate. It's a long time since I laughed out loud at my computer. Bonza.
on some deleted poem
23 Aug 2002, 2:30 AM
I agree - the 2nd stanza is good because it deals in images, while the outer stanzas read like notes towards a short story. Work for more images of concealment.
on The Matrix by DespondentDotCom
23 Aug 2002, 2:32 AM
But don't you wish you had a long black coat like Keanu's?
on Titanic by DespondentDotCom
23 Aug 2002, 2:36 AM
Couldn't agree more with your sentiments though
on Window poems by kawakurdi
23 Aug 2002, 2:43 AM
This is worth it for the first 3 lines of part four - they are a poem on their own
on Sheep---(Cross Rhyming) by shwenatjadeflower
23 Aug 2002, 3:18 AM
Don't listen to the stuff about abbreviations - MVP's really works here with copies. The rhyme of cool and Tool is funny as well. This has real bite.
on some deleted poem
23 Aug 2002, 3:27 AM
There are some great lines, but isn't this rather muddled as a whole? There's suggestiveness adn allusion, and there's incoherence. There doesn't seem to be any objective correlative here. (hey, I'm as guilty of that as anyone, but that doesn't invalidate my criticism).
on The Wonderful Creators by abecedarian
23 Aug 2002, 3:28 AM
This is a good moment of negative capability and just living rather than worrying about living. I like it.
on {Porn*Star}{Hai*kus} by horus8
23 Aug 2002, 3:40 AM
This astrological stuff just confuses me. How do you guess? I don't even want to know what sign you think I am, Arsewipe or something..but anyhoo, I lke your porn star haikus. They tell a story and they're as dirty-bright as tin foil.
on some deleted poem
23 Aug 2002, 4:12 AM
Those little changes have made this much better, it's opened up a bit
on Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles
22 Aug 2002, 8:49 AM
I didn't even see the film. How ignorant of me.
on The Siren by 1Sapphire1
22 Aug 2002, 8:04 AM
This is sweetly regretful. Perhaps 'blind' should be 'deaf' just to reinforce the unity of your central image? But it doesn't really matter. Your final two lines are the best because of their colloquialism.
on Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles
22 Aug 2002, 8:23 AM
Just out of curiosity... is there one hell of a big Tolkien-loving contingent on poemranker? I never got into the habit after reading The Hobbit and now I seem to be missing out on something. Aragorn for instance - what?
on Dark Lady by quantumenterprises
23 Aug 2002, 2:41 AM
An Ode to Newky Brown has got to enter the pantheon of poesy. This is Keats on his third bottle, and he's loving it.