on dot.com by PodPoet
23 Feb 2005, 6:55 AM
Must you keep recycling this just to get it on top of the Recent List?
on The Runaway by bamf909
22 Feb 2005, 8:07 PM
Yep. Done that. Not bad atol.
on My word, her word, and yours by thepinkbunnyofdoom
24 Feb 2005, 8:19 AM
These coded interactions are interesting for riddle and bravery to risk discovery. Among the angst though are a few good lines - "Fact wrapped around fiction" because it's the opposite of the usual fiction wrapped around fact.
on some deleted poem
24 Feb 2005, 8:23 AM
The last three lines blow it. How could you feel everything she does?
on The End of the Affair by jessicazee
24 Feb 2005, 8:34 AM
Scratch the first line.
Line break after "teeth."
I like this a lot!
Line break after "teeth."
I like this a lot!
on Invisible Wounds by Fearlesfan_04
24 Feb 2005, 8:36 AM
Okay you have wounds, but that's about all it says. Fancy spacing and repetition cannot make it better.
on They that do not scream by INTRANSIT
24 Feb 2005, 1:04 PM
Yeah, good point. Ignore the screaming malcontents with their petty little gripes and open the window for the mantis.
on Untitled by MacFrantic
25 Feb 2005, 6:59 AM
Line 2: sayest is singular, they plural.
Line 3: use "thee" to stay with the old English.
Line 4: the beat is off. Try morn delays.
That's as far as I got. You've got the old (yawn)English voice alright.
Line 3: use "thee" to stay with the old English.
Line 4: the beat is off. Try morn delays.
That's as far as I got. You've got the old (yawn)English voice alright.
on As The Days Turn to Months by DevilBuni
26 Feb 2005, 5:24 PM
The first 2 verses say it all and pretty well. Consider dropping the last.
on Homecoming Parade by wilco
27 Feb 2005, 6:05 AM
Thought provoking. I can hear it with an acoustic guitar from a coffee house stool. Not bad.
on How Do I Become a Poet? (with John B. Benitez) by Vince Dolamando
27 Feb 2005, 6:25 AM
Poetry is something you read after you have written it and eliminated the obvious mistakes. It's a fine point I know, but try to master it.
on Ode by James Rykelangeli
27 Feb 2005, 6:31 AM
Very funny and nicely done. It makes me laugh at myself. Welcome to Poemranker.
on For Junior by PodPoet
1 Mar 2005, 7:46 AM
Beware!
on In My Arms by jroday
1 Mar 2005, 9:03 AM
Drop the first line, since it's the same as the title, and change "mine" to "mind" in Line 3. Also, some of the punctuation is not needed. Otherwise pretty good.
on spiders and butterflies by Mona Lisa
1 Mar 2005, 12:03 PM
The last verse seems overdone, otherwise pretty good.
on We Have Nothing to Talk About by jessicazee
3 Mar 2005, 6:57 AM
Good. I think you could make it stronger by cutting a few words -
"trance" - 3 adjectives in a row. And a line break after "secrets."
"so" in line 7
"trance" - 3 adjectives in a row. And a line break after "secrets."
"so" in line 7
on Amphetamine Witches & Scrabble by Bachus
3 Mar 2005, 7:06 AM
I like the audiance sarcasm in the first verse - a funny twist.
on Woman on the Stairs by James Rykelangeli
4 Mar 2005, 7:44 AM
Rich with language. Although it evokes grand visions of the night, I look for meaning and shall perhaps look again.