replying on Racism by Dovina
14 Nov 2005, 3:22 PM
For any three of them, at least two will agree. So what?
on not to settle for less than almost obliteration by ay deee
14 Nov 2005, 12:45 PM
The last line seems anti-theme. Being consumed and pushing don't quite go together.
on Bread and blackthorns by Caducus
14 Nov 2005, 12:31 PM
A Right Brain cannot get this I know, but reading your poems quickens the synapses, releasing the fluids, like squeezing blood out of silicone. Never change your style, only grammar sometimes and maybe the occasional hint of logic.
replying on Sonata for Robin and Poet by Dovina
13 Nov 2005, 6:45 AM
I will agree to the rightness of one whom I generally accuse of placing rhythm above rightness.
I’ve been trying to stop howling for years, but it keeps welling up uncontrollably.
I see how "like pebbles, city deep" improves rhythm, and in this case I may follow you there, though it goes against gut desire for meaning.
And my But in the ass end of this, yes that too should go, I think.
I see how "like pebbles, city deep" improves rhythm, and in this case I may follow you there, though it goes against gut desire for meaning.
And my But in the ass end of this, yes that too should go, I think.
replying on Posted Pelicans by Dovina
11 Nov 2005, 2:40 PM
Or better:
ungainly beak,
hard, uncomfortable,
finds day’s end rest,
thrust in bush-clad crevice,
twixt wing and breast.
ungainly beak,
hard, uncomfortable,
finds day’s end rest,
thrust in bush-clad crevice,
twixt wing and breast.
Yes, it’s a pathetic prophecy, and really, it’s one of the possible outcomes. The virus mutates so rapidly that even though billions of doses of vaccine might be ready, a new mutation could wipe out millions of people before a suitable vaccine comes online. But my purpose in writing this is not to play Prophet. It’s to look at the way people think about pandemic, like the flu that came during WWI and killed more people than the war did.
replying on phases of futility... by Bhaskaryya
10 Nov 2005, 6:42 PM
'Seasoned' as a poetic twist of 'seasonal' does not work for me because 'seasoned' has an established meaning; also it would be 'seasonaled.'
Actually, I know a woman who says she has only loved only one man, and he has never returned more than a hill returns to the wind.
Actually, I know a woman who says she has only loved only one man, and he has never returned more than a hill returns to the wind.
on phases of futility... by Bhaskaryya
10 Nov 2005, 12:10 PM
To pursue such a woman throughout life seems unimaginagle to me. The first verse works well. In the second, 'rain' seems a poor metaphor for a seasoned mate, and with your explanation, 'rain' seems inadequate a parallel for a thwarted love. The last verse, where leaves are memories, works well.
replying on Steak and Satin by Dovina
10 Nov 2005, 6:42 AM
I see now that your passion will never subside. You will clutter each and every poem, mine or not, until I give in to you and answer why I said blacks are the most different from whites, or retract it. Well ok then. I now commit to doing that, but it will take some time which I don’t have now. Perhaps this will abate the onslaught.