on Coffee Incorrectly by gregsamsa222
5 Aug 2005, 1:49 PM
I like this, but have trouble with the adverb following the noun in the title and in the theme.
on Ain,t Life Fuckin Great,(part2 The Stone Man) by Bethy
5 Aug 2005, 1:46 PM
A sad sentiment. It would be nice if the rhyming structure of the first verse could be continued in all verses, but it's better not to force it.
replying on After He Left by Dovina
3 Aug 2005, 7:44 AM
Thanks for the spelling catch. As writers, I think many of us have this fantasy. Thanks.
replying on After He Left by Dovina
3 Aug 2005, 7:42 AM
I'll change remain to remained. Thanks.
on SO LONG MY BELOVED by prettyktm
2 Aug 2005, 8:14 AM
Spelling errors abound, but mostly you need to refine what you want to say.
on Forgiveness by Niphredil
2 Aug 2005, 8:12 AM
Strange how an act done in seeming rightness turns sour. Most people never forgive. They either go on pretending or they leave.
replying on Observation of a stupéfait by Dental Panic
2 Aug 2005, 8:02 AM
The periods seem needed because you use some periods.
on writers block by Jesus' Pedometer
2 Aug 2005, 7:59 AM
"To wonder of my pedigree"??? Have you nothing more worth wondering about?
on Intersection by D. $ Fontera
1 Aug 2005, 8:45 AM
If we all followed your advice in the first verse, we'd do better. Good;
on she sits back and judges me by hendrimike
1 Aug 2005, 8:41 AM
I feel it. Good.
on Observation of a stupéfait by Dental Panic
1 Aug 2005, 8:39 AM
Some inconsistencies in punctuation:
leaves'
spoke.
rustling.
But what are you saying?
leaves'
spoke.
rustling.
But what are you saying?
on You, the Line, and I by MacFrantic
1 Aug 2005, 8:34 AM
I hate these lines beween us, but see them too. The other line could be death, but could be the anti-line. I hope so.
on a love not meant to be by nentwined
28 Jul 2005, 7:02 AM
Why must such a love be not meant? Or not workable? "combed together" seems odd for liquid and concrete.
replying on A Good Man Ruined by Dovina
28 Jul 2005, 6:53 AM
I did not write it for my own damn self. I wrote for anybody able to think this way, healthy or not.
He knew it was his fault after realizing his ability to do good engineering depended on the framework of his company, and not solely on his own genius. If you think that's an unhealthy realization, then I pity you.
He knew it was his fault after realizing his ability to do good engineering depended on the framework of his company, and not solely on his own genius. If you think that's an unhealthy realization, then I pity you.
on Internet Junkie by cuddlytiger17
27 Jul 2005, 6:26 AM
Please, don`t devalue my life!