on Go now if you want it. by Fayt
7 May 2005, 6:55 AM
"Faith in the face of light" is the basis of all such hocus-pocus. I hope you mean this as satire.
on a way to pass time by unknown^user
7 May 2005, 6:40 AM
He says its good because you've written about him, his world, no longer listening, indefinite, but still real. Hey, this really is good. I've raised my vote.
on Pine Boxes (revised) by Joe-joe
6 May 2005, 12:06 PM
A few too many words - supreme in line 2, of in line 6
on Grandma and Grandpa by jessicazee
3 May 2005, 2:29 PM
A tale well told, but I always look for the twist, the irony, the lesson, or the laugh. Still looking.
on Ignorant Children by Stacy Stewart
3 May 2005, 2:29 PM
An essay made to look like a poem. A prose poem at best.
on a way to pass time by unknown^user
3 May 2005, 2:29 PM
Not enough poetic character. Call it an esay.
replying on Untitled by http://mulberryfairy
2 May 2005, 4:14 PM
Now that you mention it, yes. I see a way of coping and transferance, and it comes accross strong. Perhaps trying to say more is too much for one poem.
on Walking Out by NoSage
1 May 2005, 4:56 PM
The title seems contrary. If you plan to help him/her through something and be a friend, you will not walk out.
on Requiem by ChaseValentine
1 May 2005, 4:52 PM
Overwritten, for effect no doubt, but the last lines are good.
on In the aspens by sliver
1 May 2005, 4:47 PM
I am not getting how the printing of poetry mocks mother nature here in the aspens. And how do we shout weaknesses that are previously unparalleled (unshouted or unfelt)?
Incomplete sentence: "As honey and dew drips quietly from silent tongues."
Aspen leaves are yellow in the fall, so how do leaves of every color litter the ground?
But like Mulberry says, the next lines are good.
Sorry, I'm picky today.
Incomplete sentence: "As honey and dew drips quietly from silent tongues."
Aspen leaves are yellow in the fall, so how do leaves of every color litter the ground?
But like Mulberry says, the next lines are good.
Sorry, I'm picky today.
on A Simple Band of Metal by TLRufener
1 May 2005, 4:36 PM
"A vow without words" seems a more sentimental title. I'd like to see the "ever" taken out of "clear and ever true" and "laways" from "I will always love you" because the present night is good - why complicated it. And please make "your" yours in "And your and mine have become ours." The ambiguity of "less than precious stone" makes it all the more appealing.
on Untitled by http://mulberryfairy
30 Apr 2005, 11:09 AM
"Nightmare", "Avoidnace" possible titles. What we do to obliterate him and his power.
I will tentatively accept that we are entering some new period of getting along. But you must understand that I am like the wary person attacked by tigers in my recent poem "Racism." If I write such a didactic poem as a person claiming that content and meaning are the prime ingrediaents for judging her own writing's worth, it behooves me to heed my own words. The title is "Racism" but the message is broader.
My favorite of my poems is usually the most recent, unless the recent one is intintionally silly or retribution or parody or some such. I write several poems in an average week, and usually the one I post after the obligatory two-day wait is the most recent. "Racism" is currently my favorite.
A poem can be self-contradictory and still a good poem. Matters of belief and emotion often conflict with logic and often work better when they do. I rate a poem most highly when it settles as true on some level, and even higher if its truth is well presented.
"Check and mate" is so self-congratultory an arogant, a reversal to what I have learned to expect.
My favorite of my poems is usually the most recent, unless the recent one is intintionally silly or retribution or parody or some such. I write several poems in an average week, and usually the one I post after the obligatory two-day wait is the most recent. "Racism" is currently my favorite.
A poem can be self-contradictory and still a good poem. Matters of belief and emotion often conflict with logic and often work better when they do. I rate a poem most highly when it settles as true on some level, and even higher if its truth is well presented.
"Check and mate" is so self-congratultory an arogant, a reversal to what I have learned to expect.
We have different criteria for judging goodness, or best. I did not really mean that my formatic, but senseless "Paradelle of Progress" was my best, only that you might think it so because of form. What you say here about good rhymes and not contradicting yourself, confirms that your concern is form while mine is content.