on The Better Beggar by PodPoet
12 Mar 2005, 11:07 AM
It's a good point, but I think you carry on too much. Three or four verses could say it better. And trying to maintain rhyme and beat have weakened most of the verses.
on Your New Apartment by jessicazee
12 Mar 2005, 11:01 AM
Punctuation would help to clarify, especially using prose poem form. As it stands, I had to keep going back.
on Enchanted Place by Beyond_Dreams
12 Mar 2005, 10:55 AM
You have some good wording here, but I don't know the subject. An art-based poem like this might come through nicely if I were looking at the artwork. I suggest in writing such a poem that you provide a link to the art.
on How to make a suicide bomber by Caducus
12 Mar 2005, 10:49 AM
A commentary on American policy in Iraq, and a good one. Some repetative lines, probably written in angst - "spat on your brothers" and "Killed my brothers" - "told you how to live,who to worship" and "criticized my God."
replying on How to make a suicide bomber by Caducus
12 Mar 2005, 10:43 AM
Most of us would say "comprehension" in our ineptness. It's his gift to us to correct oiur grammar.
replying on Apostrophetic Loss by Dovina
12 Mar 2005, 6:59 AM
Opinionated spillage. So what?
replying on Apostrophetic Loss by Dovina
10 Mar 2005, 3:37 PM
I’m sorry you detected anger here. I wrote it with a touch of sarcasm to be sure, but in a jesting mood. Yes, some of the in-crowd conformities here on poemranker seem silly and need a jab occasionally, but nobody in her right mind expects to change anything, so anger is senseless.
I’m also sorry you found it dull, dull, dull, or maybe you meant the “in-crowd rules” not the poem. In any case it got some attention, and that’s more than I can say for “The Hawk.”
I’m also sorry you found it dull, dull, dull, or maybe you meant the “in-crowd rules” not the poem. In any case it got some attention, and that’s more than I can say for “The Hawk.”
replying on Apostrophetic Loss by Dovina
10 Mar 2005, 12:28 PM
lol. And "sharpening" others.
replying on Apostrophetic Loss by Dovina
10 Mar 2005, 12:21 PM
No, but I just checked it on Google - looks interesting. Ive probably reinvented a lumpy wheel.
replying on Poet, Earth mover by INTRANSIT
10 Mar 2005, 12:14 PM
Go with coinage. (Poemranker rule 3675876.890 rev. 5789)
replying on Apostrophetic Loss by Dovina
10 Mar 2005, 12:12 PM
Eats shoots' leaves? Whatever for?
on To those that would teach poetry by INTRANSIT
10 Mar 2005, 12:09 PM
Why didn't you cahnge "it's" to "its" on this edit? It's been pointed out before. "forge you a sword" - don't get the connection. Otherwise good.
on A Dance by D. $ Fontera
10 Mar 2005, 12:01 PM
Seems silly. What on earth do you mean?
replying on Poet, Earth mover by INTRANSIT
10 Mar 2005, 8:01 AM
You'd do better to just omit the word than yield to their "best" solution. Sure its corrcet, so what. You've traded their approval for what I thought was a better way of saying it.
replying on Poet, Earth mover by INTRANSIT
9 Mar 2005, 6:48 AM
Portly is obviously not what he meant! Notice that obviously is from an noun/adjective. And, yes, portent can be an adjective, as if it makes a diddly difference.