on Waves (2) by Rilke4ClosetLesbians
26 Apr 2006, 5:14 PM
cool
on Goldmunds Slut Fiasco v.2 [Revised] by Y2kSlamPoet
26 Apr 2006, 5:07 PM
you are disgusting. *9
on Background Noise by Plaidypus
26 Apr 2006, 5:11 PM
the shift from I to he doesn't work for me
on Swans by Alizarin_Crimson
26 Apr 2006, 5:13 PM
enough 'more's? less is more
on hiding demon by pollywolly
26 Apr 2006, 5:08 PM
a typo in line 3 -'too' the repetition of 'hides' is a bit heavyhanded
on First Warm Day on Santa Barbara Bay by Dovina
26 Apr 2006, 5:04 PM
aren't most waves formed relatively near the shore? but I'm no oceanographer. *8
on Mystical Chinese Dragon by that_funny_girl
24 Aug 2005, 6:20 AM
love the beginning. but goes from charming to pretentious right around 'erudite'
on Euclidian Insanity by tryplsyted
26 Apr 2006, 5:10 PM
wouldn't insanity be a non-euclidean space. (sorry to be Riemann you out like this) *9
on I've often been known to make people laugh by T. Jonathron Remp
1 Sep 2005, 10:29 AM
very funny.
are all those 'i cans' really necessary?
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are all those 'i cans' really necessary?
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on some deleted poem
2 Sep 2005, 3:42 PM
I appreciate all the criticism and agree with most of it, from your point of view...I should have put a disclaimer that this would be best appreciated by a toronto audience.
Toronto has a horrendous homelessness problem, and I wrote this thinking of my otherwise wonderful city. Perhaps this sounds like an excuse, but what the statue looks like doesn't need to be explained to a Torontonian, because we walk by 100 homeless people everytime we go downtown.
the last three lines are supposed to highlight the discrepancy between what we know is right and what we do.
Toronto has a horrendous homelessness problem, and I wrote this thinking of my otherwise wonderful city. Perhaps this sounds like an excuse, but what the statue looks like doesn't need to be explained to a Torontonian, because we walk by 100 homeless people everytime we go downtown.
the last three lines are supposed to highlight the discrepancy between what we know is right and what we do.
on The Way of Monsters by MacFrantic
21 Apr 2006, 4:51 AM
'concupiscent'?
ack,
Latinate words are never evocative, stultifying instead. throws water on your fire . same for installing, concerning, intention etc
ack,
Latinate words are never evocative, stultifying instead. throws water on your fire . same for installing, concerning, intention etc
on The Obelisk by MacFrantic
1 Apr 2006, 10:59 PM
love how the last line collapses
on The Healing Species by Dovina
7 Jan 2006, 7:53 AM
love it
on some deleted poem
15 Feb 2006, 2:39 PM
I had to google that one. I don't have time to watch TV (I used, but not these days). Wherever Meredith is I wish her the best.
on How To Ride a Bicycle by Dovina
7 Aug 2006, 6:35 PM
this is wonderful
on some deleted poem
13 Jan 2007, 7:14 AM
you are an evil piece of s*** who obviously knows it too. go ahead, spread your poison because you think you're anonymous.
it's actually a decent poem - but you being a hateful asshole makes me feel sorry for you. so i'll give you the nothing you are and want.
it's actually a decent poem - but you being a hateful asshole makes me feel sorry for you. so i'll give you the nothing you are and want.
on Same old rancour (a yellow stream of consciousness) by ecargo
13 Jan 2007, 2:57 PM
yes, rockmage is winning. glad you're above it all -9-